Out Of Bounds (Balls To The Walls) by Lolah Lace Page A

morning sickness was terrible this time around. Normal every day smells would make me nauseous. Chewing gum was gross especially the spearmint flavor. The scent, the taste, the visual would make me vomit. This was my torture for being a confused slut, a cock hoarder, and a tramp without the lady.
    What made me think I could juggle two guys at once? I just need to get through this pregnancy with my sanity. God will punish me for flip hopping between two men.
    The sad thing is I wasn’t playing with Jack’s emotions. I did really care about Jack. I thought I could be relatively happy in a marriage with him. I was wrong about so many things. It was foolish of me to think I could ever rid myself of Mason especially when I didn’t want too.  
    I hadn’t spoken to Jack after he smashed my passenger window in. I wasn’t scared of him as much as I wanted the drama to stop. I will keep my distance for a while. Although I’m stuck with the reality that Jack may be a part of my life for the next eighteen years. I have no idea how I’m going to manage that. I had to come to some kind of truce. Well we all have to come to some kind of truce. I can’t do this all by myself.
    Maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do . But I felt I needed to have a serious talk with Jack. I would lay awake at night wondering what his expectations were. I needed to know where his head was out.
    It had been six months since my elopement with Mason. I hadn’t spoken a word to Jack in the last three. He was gone from my house and I didn’t have any way to contact him but through his job. There was no way I was going up there. Jack’s employees love him. I don’t want to even imagine the dirty looks I would get if I stepped foot in Unger and Lowe.
    I truly thought I was done with the secrets. I just couldn’t tell Mason how I needed to speak with Jack. Mason would never understand. If the child I’m carrying is Jack’s I needed to set ground rules. I needed to know what tricks he has up his expensive tailor-made sleeves. I needed to be one step ahead of whatever bullshit he had planned for me.
    I’m sure he’s still mad. I’m sure he’s still bitter but I don’t know any of these things for a fact. I’m here for facts not fiction. I need to know what’s up with my ex.
    Most of all I need to know if he’s still in love with me. I want him to be okay. I’m not so heartless that his feelings don’t matter to me. I fully acknowledge that I hurt him. I just want him to have moved on with his life so he won’t be so hell bent on trying to destroy mine. I’m sure that’s wishful thinking on my part. He smashed his fist through my car window not too long ago.
    If my baby is his I need to know what kind of custody he expects. I don’t want to be blindsided by ignorant bullshit. I don’t want to have to go upside his head. I want us to act like adults and do what is best for the baby. Maybe I expect a miracle but I’m sure its possible for us to coexist. Please Lord let it be possible.
    I was nervous as all hell and get out. If I were in the first trimester my nervousness would have caused me to vomit. I’m so glad that’s over. I hope Jack doesn’t force me to act like a mean pregnant chick at this lunch meeting.
    I invited him. He accepted. I couldn’t believe I had made it to the restaurant first. I felt strange sitting here all alone. I think I felt this way because I’m pregnant. Are people looking at me crazy because I was pregnant and alone?
    Jack waltzed in ten minutes late. His movements looked like a literal waltz. He waltzed in like he was part owner and CEO. His confidence and cockiness were traits he and Mason shared. Apparently I have a type, Lamar is cocky but he’s a selfish jealous kind of cocky.
    Jack is never late. He was probably up to something. I shouldn’t let my imagination run away with me. Is he going to apologize for his tardiness or be a bastard? I vote, be a bastard.
    The hostess led him over to my table.