Paradise By The Rifle Sights (Greatest Hits romantic mysteries book #5) (Greatest Hits Mysteries) by Leslie Langtry Page A

would've changed everything, but it was too little, too late.
    " We've gone ahead and picked a threesome for you," Mel said, shaking me out of my thoughts. "They are waiting for you at the airport."
    " The airport?" I asked.
    " You said you wanted your dates to be at county fairs in Iowa. It happens to be county fair season now."
    Oh , shit. I didn't want to go to a county fair in Iowa. Were these idiots really going to follow every request on my list?
    Roberto stood back. "I think he should change first…"
    That was a good point. I was wearing an Armani oxford shirt with Chinos and Tod's loafers. None of these things look good with cow shit and cotton candy smeared on them.
    Mel took me by the arm. "No time. You have to go now."
    I tried to protest as he led me back through the house to the driveway where a limo was waiting. Mel pushed me inside and shut the door behind me. I hoped maybe Cindee would be there. No such luck.
    " Hi!" said a woman I remembered as Destiny. The other two women, Rio and Ophelia (they said), smiled and slid toward me. This was going to be a long day.
    The only thing that saved me was the fact we had to buckle into our seats on the plane. During the drive to the airport, I'd been caressed within an inch of my life. At least on the plane, the stewards insisted they remain seated. One of the guys winked at me, and I wondered if Roberto had something to do with this.
    I tried to chat the women up during the flight. They spoke a little, but about nothing. I wondered if there was now a script—a way they felt they had to act on this kind of reality show. They weren't dressed for a county fair either. All three wore skin tight dresses with stiletto shoes. Between them, I figured their hair extensions were long enough to circle the fairgrounds.
    Why did women do that? I just didn't get hair extensions. I could understand if they'd had chemo and lost their hair. But making long hair longer didn't make sense to me. At some point, it was just too long for anything except maybe strangling a man with it.
    So the flight was quiet, the ladies looked bored, the cameraman was pissed, and I wanted to be somewhere else with Teri or Cindee. Probably apologizing. It was frustrating that I'd met two interesting women and had offended them both. What had happened to me? I was one of those guys who had women friends. I was sensitive, thoughtful, and full of respect.
    But Hollywood and a reality show had turned my world upside down. I wondered how many other men were screwed up from this shit. If I did find Chuck Plimpton's body, I'd kill him all over again.
    The plane taxied to a landing , and an SUV arrived to take us to the Clinton County Fair in DeWitt Iowa. Destiny, Ophelia, and Rio never stopped smiling but didn't say anything else. The camera guy had gotten nothing from the flight. For some, bizarre reason, I wanted to make him happy.
    " So, Destiny, where are you from?" Lame, but functional. After all, everyone's from somewhere, right?
    Her smile dazzled so brightly I thought she was wired for electricity. "I'm from New York City!"
    " Great," I said, "and what do you do there?" Come on, give me something.
    " Well, Paris," she said as she pulled her hair all around her head to hang down on her left shoulder, where it fell to her hips, "I'm a model and an actress."
    I tried not to flinch. "Really? That's interesting. What have you done?"
    Destiny frowned , and I immediately regretted asking. "Nothing yet. New York theatre is blind to true talent."
    I suddenly lost the urge to talk to her anymore. I turned to Rio and asked her the same set of questions. It felt vaguely familiar.
    Rio giggled and pulled a huge wad of gum out of her mouth. She rolled down the window and chucked it out. "I'm from Miami. And I'm a consultant."
    " That's interesting." Well, actually it was. "What kind of consulting work do you do?" Please let it be something I can build a conversation around.
    Rio seemed encouraged by my interest.