Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) by Haven Francis Page A

of me. I can picture him in this bed with his sharpie scratching out the words, knowing full well he’s pissing Violet off.
    Nothing more/ then a whore/ a wasted egg/ bottom dweller/ son of shit/ hide away/ another day/ do it again/ sun is up/ waste/ decay , Paxton has written. I stare at the words, one at a time. I don’t know what they mean, but I can feel them. Part of Paxton is making me feel something painful.
    My eyes shift to the sunnier section of wall. Venice . The sun and waves. The graffiti says, Live and Die Devoted . I close my eyes and try to picture him there, under the sun, on his boards skating through the streets and surfing in the waves. I can see him smile. I can feel his happiness.
    With everything that I’m learning about Paxton I know that his life here was hard. Not that I could tell you why that was, specifically. But the way people talk about him and the expressions on their faces tell me the things he won’t tell me himself. Chicago is waste/ decay . But I know he’s smiling now, under the sun, in the city he will live and die devoted to.
    #
    “See, you’re having fun,” Violet says, sticking her tongue out at me.
    “I’m having the bes t time,” I shout, aware that I’m inebriated. “I love you,” I tell her.
    “I love you too,” she says before spinning in her party dress and taking off for the bar.
    Elijah takes her place. He grabs a hold of my hand and leads me to the couch, pulling me down onto it. He slings his hand around my waist and puts his mouth on my neck. Elijah facebooked me the night I got escorted out of The Cellar and we’ve been texting since then. He showed up here before Billy and Louis and when they tried to kick him out Violet actually backed me up and told them this is my party and I can invite who ever I want.
    I let Elijah touch me and kiss me. First kisses and new fingers on my skin. I missed it. And Elijah is the kind of guy who will not get attached- I’m pretty sure. “You still taste good,” he murmurs in my ear. I turn my head to find his lips, welcoming his tongue in my mouth and his greedy hands around my waist. He kisses me long and hard and recklessly and I love it. “Let’s go to your room,” he manages to mumble around my tongue.
    “No, I have to stay here, at my party,” I mumble back.
    “For how long?”
    I stop kissing him then because I can’t just ditch Violet and all her hard work and I’m getting to the point where I might be willing to do that. “‘til it’s over,” I tell him, standing and going to the bar to make myself another drink.
    Billy sides up to me and starts fixing his own drink. “Getting it on with Elijah, huh?”
    “Planning on it,” I tell him as I pour Vodka into my cup .
    “You think Paxton’s go nna be okay with that?” he asks with a pointed look on his face.
    I’ve been letting this shit slide because any time I say anything about Paxton, Billy especially, just looks at me like I’m stupid. But I’m drunk and Violet threw this party for me and I’m tired of him acting like I belong to Paxton. “Why would Paxton give a shit, Billy? He’s my friend. My friend . I don’t know why that is so difficult to understand.”
    He raises his questioning eyebrows at me. “Maybe you should take a few steps out of his inner circle to find yourself a guy.”
    “Maybe you should find something to worry about besides who I’m trying to sleep with. For fucks sake, between you and Louis and Violet I can’t even get a guy to look at me. If you would like to bring some Billy approved men by, feel free. But tonight Elijah is the only one here that’s brave enough to lay a hand on me and I want a damn hand on me, so fricking deal with it.”
    He shakes his head at me and walks away. I put him and his nosey ass out of my mind and head back to Elijah. He’s no longer on the couch where I left him so I start making my way through the crowded room.
    When I find him, he’s being cornered in the hallway by Billy.