Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) by Haven Francis

would know better, but he’s a snake. And he’s not the only guy there that is more than just some pussy pretty boy and I know I can’t keep her on a leash forever. I shouldn’t have thrown her into my old life the way I did. I should have let her take care of herself and I shouldn’t have felt the need to keep tabs on the girl. But it’s too late now.
    She’s under my skin and snaking around my brain and the star of every fantastic dream I have and I need to figure out how to let her in or let her go.

Chapter 6 - Jessa
     
    “So, this is it,” Violet tells me, spinning around the living room of her apartment. Our apartment . It took me a while to accept the invitation to move in but when Dylan’s calls became hourly and he started stopping by my room multiple times a day- which lead to the girls in the dorm despising me more than they already did- and considering I spend all my free time with Violet now, I finally broke down and told her yes.
    “I love it,” I tell her. It’s cute and clean and sunny and eccentric, just like Violet.
    “Me too. And I’m glad you’re here. Come on, I’ll show you your room.”
    I follow her to the hallway and then into my new room. It’s just like the rest of the apartment… except for the right side of the room. Someone has covered the walls surrounding one of the two beds in hand drawn illustrations and spray-painted graffiti. “What the hell is all this?”
    “Ugh… Paxton. That asshole. I mean, look,” she says , gesturing to the untarnished side of the room where a bed covered in a bright, floral comforter sits under a window with sunny yellow curtains on one side and a pretty oil landscape on the other. The bedside table looks like a prop with hardcover books and a light blue glass lamp. “This room was so cute and pretty and then that sadist moves in here and next thing I know it looks like a rave happened in here.”
    I laugh. “Paxton? You lived with Paxton?”
    “He didn’t tell you that?” she says, looking grumpy with her hands on her hips.
    “ Of course he didn’t,” I tell her, going to Paxton’s side of the room and looking at the pieces of himself that he put on the wall. “I think it’s beautiful.”
    “I know- creepy eyeballs, skeleton faces, weird faces in general, strange little cartoons, doors going nowhere… it’s so pretty it makes me want to kill myself.”
    “ Yeah, but look at the waves and the sun. There are palm trees and flowers. Look, there’s even a heart.”
    She comes over and stares at it. “It’s black. There is blood running out of it,” she says looking like she’s going to hurl. “Give it some time, it’ll start to wear you down. Anyway, this is your side of the room,” she tells me, throwing one of my bags on the flower covered bed.
    “I think I want this bed,” I tell her.
    “Suit yourself. You might want to order your Prozac now so you have it when the walls start talking to you.”
    I laugh but the walls are already speaking to me. Every day that I spend with Violet and her friends, that were once Paxton’s friends, brings with it more questions about him. When I ask him my questions he never really gives me any answers. But the walls might tell me something.
    “Get settled , then get ready - everyone will be here in an hour.”
    “Okay,” I tell her. “And thanks, for letting me stay here. And for the party.” I can’t help but recoil. Violet is seriously having a welcome home party for me.
    “You’re welcome, and don’t make that face – it’s gonna be fun.”
    “I know. I’ll smile through all of it. I’ll even eat a piece of that obnoxious cake.”
    “Yes, you will,” she tells me before leaving the room.
    I lay down on my bed and smell the almost forgotten scent of Paxton. I miss him so much. I miss Natalie and Emily too but it seems like my life in Chicago revolves around Paxton so I’m thinking about him all the time.
    I turn on my side and look at the writing that’s in front