Perfect Harmony by Sarah P. Lodge

my
head back, exposing my neck for him.
    His lips kiss down my throat in sensual hot bites, my skin
prickling and begging for more.
    “Chase,” I whisper, my words so faint like dust billowing in
the wind.  “I want you...”
    “Mmmm... Melody.”  His voice is muffled by my neck, and I tilt
my head back for more.”
    “I want you...” I continue, “...to be my first.”
    He stops.
    “Chase?”
    His head rises and I see his shocked eyes.
    “You’re a virgin?” he says.
    I clear my throat and pull myself up on the seat.
    He shakes his head and rubs his eyes.
    “Chase?  What’s the matter?”
    He bites his lips and then presses an intercom button on the
roof.
    “Miller, change of plans.  You’re going to River Park.”
    River Park .
    “What... why...” I say.
    “That’s where you live, isn’t it?”
    “It is, but... why?”
    This is insane.  What the hell is going on?
    I’ve ruined this.  I’ve actually ruined this.
    “Chase, what I said - it’s a lie.  I’m not a virgin, I’m
not.  I don’t know why I said it - please, just forget I said anything,
please.”
    “No,” he says, downtrodden.  “It was the truth.”  He sighs. 
“Of course it was,” he says almost to himself.
    My cheeks burn.  This can’t be happening.  “So that’s it?” I
say.
    “That’s it.”  His eyes are cold and dead.
    The silence fills the limo like an unwelcome guest, and I
come to realise the truth: I have ruined everything.
    I glance out of the window at the streaks of headlights
zooming past.
    Chase doesn’t even look at me.  He just stares ahead almost
as if he’s possessed.
    And I suddenly feel so very alone.
    It’s ten minutes before we reach my neighbourhood, loud
music and the shrill garbled yelling of homeless people drowning out any sound
of traffic.  It would be impossible to talk over such a din, that is, if Chase
had ever said a word to me since my idiotic confession.
    It dawns on me that he’ll never kiss again, and a pang bores
into my gut.
    I’d only just given myself over to that different woman -
the real me.  The strong take charge powerful one, only to have her executed at
the gates.
    There was only the other me now.  The sad, lonely me.  The
one afraid of everything, and feeling an empty ache for the fleeting feelings
I’ve lost.
    No, I can’t go back to that.
    You don’t just have an epiphany and then return to normal,
job well done.  The real me - the woman I want to be again - she wouldn’t stand
for this shit.  She’d sit up and speak and tell Chase-
    “You’re an idiot.”
    His head whirls to me in shock.  “What did you say?”
    “You’re an idiot.  My “condition”.  It’s totally a
non-issue.  And thanks for finally looking at me, by the way.”
    “It’s not a non-issue.  It’s a big issue.”
    “But it’s not important to me.”
    “It is to me.”  The light from the street lamp hits his face
in a white streak and illuminates his hard jawline.  “What you want, what you
need... it’s not something I can offer.”
    “I just want you.”
    “No, you think you do, but you want more.  Friendship,
marriage, love.  You’ll want it all.  They always do,” he says.
    “I don’t.  I want our one night, just like you said. 
Nothing more.  Just you and me.”
    “I will never love you.”
    “Okay, maybe I don’t want you to love me,” I say defiantly.
    “You say that, but deep down you know that’s not true.”
    My gut clenches.  His words are cold, but I don’t believe
them.  I don’t love him - I’ve never loved anyone, not like that, not that
truly madly deeply shit where the radio plays and suddenly all the song lyrics
makes sense.  Where you’d die for each other.
    The limo glides to a stop.  A moment later, the chauffeur
opens the door and the cool night air rushes in, bathing me in a sobering
cloud.  Beyond, I see the rustic front door of my apartment building.
    “But-,” I say.
    “-We’re done, Melody.  It’s