Pig City by Louis Sachar Page A

bacon and eggs
. She hadn’t recognized the voice. It was disguised to sound like a cranky old lady.
    Later when she came to dinner, everybody made a point of telling her how pretty she looked.
    â€œYou’re going to break a lot of hearts someday,” said her brother Dan.
    â€œYou get prettier every time I see you,” said Sue.
    Even Rebecca got in the act. “You’re the prettiest of all my aunts and uncles,” she said. “You’re much prettier than Sheila!”
    â€œKnock it off, okay?” said Laura. She didn’t carewhether or not she was pretty!
    George Washington didn’t worry about whether or not a girl would ever want to kiss him. That was probably a good thing, too, Laura thought. What girl would want to kiss somebody with wooden teeth?
    The fire returned to her eyes. Pig City was going to war!

25
Monkey Town
    â€œBacon and eggs?” asked Gabriel.
    Karen laughed.
    â€œSorry, Gabe,” said Howard.
    â€œPigs don’t lay eggs, Howard,” said Jonathan.
    Howard was supposed to have called Laura and said, “Monkey Town will turn Pig City into bacon and ham.” That made sense. Bacon and ham come from slaughtered pigs.
    Howard felt awful. He was so happy when Gabriel asked him to join the club, but now he messed up his first assignment. “I meant to say ham,” he explained. “It’s more natural to say ‘bacon and eggs’ than ‘bacon and ham’. It’s hard to say ‘bacon and ham.’”
    â€œBacon and ham. Bacon and ham. Bacon and ham,” said Sheila.
    â€œYou want me to call her back, Gabe?” asked Howard. “I can call her back and tell her I meant ham.”
    Karen laughed hysterically.
    â€œThis is war, Howard,” said Gabriel. “We can’t callher back and say we made a mistake.”
    â€œIt might be better this way,” said Jonathan. “They’re not just pigs. They’re chicken pigs! They lay eggs.”
    Everyone laughed.
    â€œThey still won’t know what ‘bacon and eggs’ means,” said Yolanda.
    â€œThat’s all right,” said Gabriel. “One of the first rules of war is to confuse the enemy. You did a good job, Howard.”
    â€œI knew you’d like it,” said Howard. “That’s why I did it.”
    Sheila snorted.
    â€œWe’ll have to change our song,” said Yolanda. “What rhymes with eggs?”
    â€œPegs,” said Jonathan.
    â€œBegs,” said Karen.
    â€œI think we should just tell Mr. Doyle that Laura’s the one who wrote on the board,” said Sheila.
    â€œWe can’t,” said Gabriel. “I wrote on the board, too. I wrote ‘Pigs Stink.’ If she gets in trouble, we all will.” He would never have told on Laura, anyway, but he had to give a reason that would satisfy Sheila.
    â€œThere’s more than one way to skin a pig,” he said. He stuck his right thumb in his right ear and wiggled the remaining fingers on that hand.
    Everyone else did the same.
    It was the secret Monkey Town salute.

26
Eye of the Hurricane
    Laura walked to school Monday morning, alert, but not afraid. She didn’t know who or what Monkey Town was, or what bacon and eggs meant. She was ready for anything.
    She sneaked into the building and on through the yellow curtain into Mr. Doyle’s room. There was already a message on the board:
    MONKEYS ARE
    Â Â Â Â Â MARVELOUS
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â MAGNIFICENT
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â AND MIRACULOUS!
    She picked up the eraser and a piece of chalk. She didn’t change it all, just enough.
    She placed the eraser and chalk back on the rack, then walked calmly out through the school to the outside. She stood with her back against the brick wall so nobody could sneak up behind her, and waited for PigCity. Her eyes moved constantly.
    Tiffany and Allison came walking across the