Plan B by SJD Peterson

vibrating, and aching for a fight, but I’d let him at least say what he needed to before he left or I removed him.
    He took a seat on Bo’s bed, forearms resting on his knees, hands dangling as he stared at the floor between his feet. “I know what you are, Danny. I’m just having a really hard time dealing with it, is all. When I’m not around you, I’m thinking about you all the fucking time: being with you, kissing you”—he raised his head and met my eyes—“touching you.”
    “The real thing not as good as the fantasies I take it?”
    “No. I mean, yes… I mean….” He huffed out a breath. “Kissing you is way fucking better than any fantasy. It’s just… I see you and you’re like this gorgeous fucking chick and I get all hot and bothered and I know on some level you’re a dude, but you don’t look like a dude, but I know you are. And… and it’s like that’s a big part of what gets me so hot but, then I think, if I was attracted to guys then why the hell am I attracted to one that looks like….” He held his hand out, palm up.
    He was rambling and I could tell how much his attraction to me was bothering him, but I kept my mouth shut. This was his shit to sort through. I probably could have been a little more sensitive, but dammit, it’s a real ball-buster when you’re kissing a guy and the minute he touches your dick, he runs. My ego was wounded.
    He dropped his arm back to his knee and looked at me as if he were waiting for me to explain it all. After a few more minutes, he gave up and finally said, “I don’t know what it was about that stripper. When I left the club, I couldn’t think of anything but him and how I’d been turned on like I’d never been before. After I bailed on the guy I met on the Internet, I swore I’d never act on it again. Put it behind me like it was just part of growing up. That it didn’t mean anything.
    “But obviously it didn’t stay in the past, because when I’m with you, it’s the same kind of feeling. You drive me out of my head crazy, thinking about you. But I’m not going to lie, Danny. Just like with that stripper, my attraction to you freaks me the fuck out. I’m not gay.” He shook his head vigorously, then stopped and hung his head. He sounded so miserable when he whispered, “Am I?”
    My abused ego was petted and I relaxed a little. “So you found something that tripped your trigger in a big way. Maybe it’s the thrill, the taboo of it, I don’t really know. I learned a long time ago that we can’t choose what or who we’re attracted to, and there isn’t always any rhyme or reason to it. If I had to take a guess, I’d say you’re curious and there is nothing wrong with that.”
    He looked up at me and started to say something, but I hushed him by holding up a hand. “Although I may understand it’s confusing the hell out of you, I gotta tell you. I’m not thrilled by your reaction to me.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Don’t apologize for something you can’t change. But you need to look at this from my point of view. While I may be incredibly flattered by your attraction to me—” I dramatically moved my hand down from head to toe, pointing out the goods. “I mean, what’s not to be attracted to?”
    That made him chuckle and some of the tension in the room dissipated. “True.”
    “That still doesn’t change the fact of what I am. So you have to ask yourself, what are you going to do about your attraction? I’m game for a little exploration and fun, but I can tell you right now, I can’t handle you getting all revved up and wanting to kiss me whenever you see me, getting me all worked up and then leaving me hanging. That’s just cruel.”
    “I’m not sure what I can handle,” he admitted quietly.
    I leaned back on my elbows and stretched my legs out, crossing my ankles. “Then let’s keep our interaction to waving hello in passing or chatting civilly when we’re with Bo and Katie, until you figure it