exhilarating, but now…in what I hoped would be a long term relationship, I was struggling to see how our strong personalities would ever fully co-exist with each other. Would it always be this way? A constant source of tension and frustration? I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I didn’t even want to try. But, at the same time, as it was, were we really happy? Could you have a happily ever after without the happy?
Granted, in terms of relationships, this was my first real attempt to be with a woman for more than a week, so who was I to judge? In all my wild oats years, I’d apparently lost all grip on what is, and therefore isn’t, normal. If there was such a thing.
I went for a long run, taking in the sights of the small town, many of them familiar because of Allie’s mother’s animated descriptions from dinner the night before. When I returned to the house, I was drenched with sweat, but the thoughts and worries were all there waiting for me as soon as I went back to Allie’s room.
I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of gym shorts before sitting down on the edge of the bed and dialing Angela’s number. She answered on the second ring with a chirpy “Hey big bro!”
I smiled, thankful for the warmth and energy in her voice. After months of seeing her weak and beat down with disease, it was nearly enough to bring tears to my eyes to have her happy and healthy again, sounding like her old self. “Hey Angie, whatcha up to?”
“I’m actually going on an audition this afternoon,” she exclaimed.
My smile froze in place. “Oh, wow. Congrats,” I said, trying to infuse an air of enthusiasm I didn’t quite feel. Even though she sounded like her old self, she was still recovering, and I didn’t want anything to upset her miraculous progress.
“Jeeze, try to sound a little happier about it,” Angela scoffed. “It’s a small role, but I really like the script, and I think it would be the perfect project to get me back in the game.”
I hesitated, I’d really called her to talk about Allie and get her advice, but since the conversation had been started, I knew I needed to tell her my thoughts. “I’m happy for you, Angie. I just want to make sure you don’t get in over your head and have a setback. You know how it gets, even on small sets, it’s long, relentless hours with little to no down time and it gets hard to find time for things like working out, eating right, and all the things that are essential to you making a full recovery.”
“Coop, I know you’re worried, and I appreciate it. You’ve been by my side for everything, and I know you’re just being protective big brother, but you have to trust me and let me figure things out for myself. I know my body and I know what I’m capable of. It’s just an audition. If I get the part, it will still be months away before I start filming.”
Her tone was soft, and her words gentle, but for some reason, it triggered the memories of the argument with Allie. Some of the things she was saying were almost the same as what Allie had said. “Fair enough,” I replied, sinking back further on the bed.
“How are things over there? How’s Allie holding up?” Angela asked, her voice filled with concern. I’d called her before boarding the plane to let her know I’d be out of town for a while and had been keeping her updated via text messages since landing in Kansas.
I caught her up on the day’s events, leaving out the argument with Allie from the night before. I wanted her advice, but wasn’t sure how to explain it all to her.
“That’s great that he’s awake! I bet Allie feels so much better. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a parent,” her voice trailed off. “Cooper, I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say. Obviously, you’ve been through this too,” she said, an edge of panic in her voice.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” I assured her. As my half sister, we shared our mother,