Proof of Angels by Mary Curran Hackett

the fear and pain he felt when he didn’t think he could do it, and the worry he felt that even though she was dead and long gone, she would somehow have disapproved of him anyway for leaving the seminary. Sean also thought of the priest in Florence who told him that he was sinning, and told Sean that he needed to repent, told Sean that he needed to let the girl he loved go. He wondered where that priest was. He wasn’t living the consequences of that choice. Sean was. Sean thought about some of the advice he had given over the years, too. His fair share, he was sure. And he shuddered, remembering how he scolded little Colm, screamed at him for being selfish, for wanting to find his real dad, and how heartbroken and lost the boy was, sobbing into his shoulder, Why doesn’t he love me? Does he know how much I love him—want to know him?
    â€œI know what you mean, Gaspar,” Sean admitted.
    â€œI know you do. Now are you going to let me help you?”
    â€œSure,” Sean said in resignation.
    â€œI have some calls to make. But I’ll find you someone here. I won’t be able to stay much longer than a week though. Your sister, you know she’s due in a few weeks; I must be there. And my practice . . . I just can’t leave it.”
    â€œI know. I understand. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”
    â€œYou’re sure? Absolutely positive? I was at your place and it doesn’t look like anyone has been by or taking care of stuff for you. Do you have someone paying your bills?”
    â€œNot at the moment.”
    â€œI’ll take care of that before I go. I’ll make all the arrangements.”
    â€œYou don’t have to do that. I’ll get somebody.”
    â€œBut I do. I worry that you’re all . . . alone . . .”
    â€œGaspar, I have some buddies out here. They’re not great housekeepers. They wouldn’t think to check my apartment, but they do care, Gaspar. They do. People just have different ways of showing it. Some guys visit me every day. My buddy James, for instance, was the one who taught me to surf. He showed me around when I first moved in. He’s a solid guy. You know he’s the one who saved my life the day of the fire? I lost my heartbeat, and he brought me back.”
    â€œGood friend to have around.”
    â€œYa think?” Sean winked.
    â€œSo, Sean, you are sure? You are sure you’re not too lonely here?”
    â€œI’m sure. I’ll be okay. I will.”
    â€œI hope so. Your sister will never forgive me if something happens to you.”
    â€œI know. Believe me, I know. I am sorry about being such an ass these past couple of days. I know it wasn’t an easy trip. These meds are messing with my head. I don’t feel like myself.”
    â€œPlease, don’t apologize. I was the one who walked in here and pushed you too hard, too soon. I had no right.”
    â€œYou’re all right, Gaspar. You’re all right.”
    â€œSo . . . ?” Gaspar asked, changing the subject, and blushing from Sean’s compliment. “Let’s talk about something else. I’m here to stay for a while.”
    â€œWhat do you want to talk about?”
    â€œWhy don’t you tell me what happened the day of the fire? I still don’t feel like I got the whole story.”
    â€œNo? I thought we covered it.”
    â€œNot really. We got at each other’s throats so quickly when I first arrived that you never told me the entire story. You never told me how exactly you got out of that fire. You said a house exploded in flames. How did you jump from a house and live?”
    â€œIt’s a miracle, isn’t it? That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
    â€œA miracle? That doesn’t sound like the Sean I know. Now you sound like your sister, Cathleen.”
    Sean laughed. “Seriously, it was the craziest thing. You’re going to think I am nuts . . . but . . . nah .