Prudence Couldn't Swim by James Kilgore Page B

already starting to taste that watery corn meal mush they doled out in the Feds’ chow hall.
    He scooped out a bunch of condoms and dropped them on the bed.
    â€œYou must have been planning to have a lot of fun with your Chocolate drop bride,” he said, “but you didn’t want any jungle bunny babies running around, did you?”
    He picked up one of the condoms and studied the packet.
    â€œMy mistake,” he added, “I got you all wrong, Winter. These things say ‘extra large’. Couldn’t be yours. What’d you do, take pictures while someone else bonked your wife?”
    I directed him again toward the marriage license on the bed. I wasn’t going for his bait. I was just trying to figure out where the hell that Walther was. I knew I’d put it in that drawer but maybe I’d changed it up in one of my drunken stupors. Wild Turkey could do that to you.
    Carter tossed the condom on the floor and examined the marriage certificate carefully, running his finger over the seal. Strange feeling to be handing a cop a document that was legit. Too bad Prudence wasn’t.
    â€œOne of your buddies make this up for you?” he asked. “We’ve looked at your jacket. Forgery, fraud, trafficking. You’re a fuckin’ jack of all trades.”
    â€œI’ve given all that up. I’m what they call rehabilitated.”
    He stood up and hollered to his partner that it was time to go. “There’s nothing here,” Carter shouted. “Besides, Winter’s just told me he’s rehabilitated.”
    The woman waddled through the bedroom door.
    â€œYeah and I’m Meryl Streep, expecting another Oscar this year,” she replied. Carter led the way as the two headed for the front door, their keys bouncing against those pudgy hips as they moved away. He stopped halfway to the door to look at my collection of videos. He crouched down and pulled a copy of
Cool Hand Luke
off the shelf, popped the case open and looked at the cassette.
    â€œI figure a guy like you’s got a collection of kiddie porn sandwiched in with the Paul Newman.”
    â€œJust Paul Newman plus all the Disney favorites. You wanna watch
Bambi?”
    He put
Cool Hand Luke
back, then rummaged through a few more videos. I just wanted him to get the hell out.
    â€œI was hopin’ for some ebony porn in your collection, Winter, like your wife fuckin’ the dog.”
    â€œI’d appreciate it if you left now,” I said.
    â€œWe’ll be back,” Carter assured me.
    â€œI’ll look forward to that. I’ll bake chocolate chip cookies for the occasion.”
    â€œDon’t be a smartass, Winter. We could strike you out in a heartbeat.”
    â€œWhile we wait for that heartbeat to finish, kindly make your exit.”
    I stood in the front door and watched until they pulled away, then circled around to the backyard to hunt for Luisa. When I called out her name, I heard some bushes rustle in the corner of the yard and out she came, a bit of topsoil clinging to her uniform. She held the Walther in her right hand, pointing toward the sky.
    â€œI thought maybe they shouldn’t see this,” she said.
    â€œYou’re a star,” I said, “a real
estrella.”
    â€œYou are a crazy man, Mr. Winter. Very loco.”
    She gave me a hug. That had never happened before. When she pulled away, her sweaty hair left a stain on my shirt. Hopefully the spot remover would take it out. Re-Nu wasn’t recommended for clothing.
    â€œI wish I could help you more,” said Luisa. “Prudence was a very nice woman. She was always laughing, but inside I could see that she was sad. She never told me why. Her life was her secret. That’s how it is with us
inmigrantes.”
    â€œWe all have our secrets,” I reminded her. She went quiet and started to weep. I gave her the rest of the day off and headed for Olga, the Belarus girl. I really needed