Red Hats by Damon Wayans

she had with you.”
    “That’s so strange,” he said still searching the room for her.
    “Are you going to drink both of those martinis?” Joy asked. Before James could answer, she relieved him of one of the frosted glasses.
    It took two
cups of muddy black coffee to help lift the dark cloud over Alma’s head. She hadn’t had a hangover in many years and vowed never to have one again if she could only rid herself of this one. Alma was amazed that the other women at the table were so talkative and unaffected by the alcohol they had inhaled last night.
    Dee opened an assortment of medicine bottles and arranged a colorful mound of pills on the table before her.
    “You’re going to take all of those?” Alma asked.
    “Yeah. This one is for my sugar, and this one is to help with my blood. These two help the nausea from takingthese two, and the other three are vitamins. I’m all messed up. But you do what you have to do to survive.”
    “You should stop eating so many sweets in order to survive, if you ask me.”
    “Sugar is my weakness. I tried to stop, but life just isn’t as sweet without it,” Dee said as she forced the pills down her gullet with the aid of a tall, cool glass of water.
    “She’s been dealing with a lot of stress since her daughter stopped talking to her.” Joy leaned in and whispered to Alma. “That little wench won’t even let her see her own grandchild. Be easy on her.”
    “I can’t be somebody’s friend if I can’t tell the truth,” Alma said loudly enough for everyone to hear. “If you really cared about her, you’d be saying the same thing instead of whispering in my ear for me to be quiet.”
    “So what happened with you and James last night?” Magdalena changed the subject.
    “Nothing. We danced, that’s all.”
    “He was looking for you all night. You must have really put it on him, girl. James can have any woman he wants. That man is a real catch,” Joy offered. “Any woman in her right mind would be happy to let him into her world.”
    “Well, I must not be in my right mind, because I know his kind. He’s nothing but a womanizer who thinks he can charm his way up under any skirt he likes. I’m not interested. I know a dog when I see one, even when it’s not on a leash.”
    “Well, do me a favor and send him my way,” Joy added.
    “You can have him. It’s too soon for me to be thinking about a man.”
    “Are you divorced?” Joy pried.
    “Whatever I am is none of your business. It’s just too soon. Let’s leave it at that.”
    “It’s never too soon for me. I’m tired of my rabbit,” Joy complained. “That thing is going to hop away from me I use it so much,” she finished.
    “I think the girls are just trying to say don’t let a good one get away. James is a good man. He lost his wife a while ago,” Dee offered, “and he isn’t as bad as he comes off. Just lonely, that’s all. And we all know lonely.”
    “Speaking of which, we’ve got something for you,” Magdalena said.
    “Me?”
    Dee reached under the table and produced a hatbox. She placed it in front of Alma.
    “I can’t . . .”
    “Just open it. You can’t say no if you don’t even know what it is.” Dee pushed the box toward Alma.
    Alma opened the box and pulled out a beautiful, large-brimmed, red-feathered hat accented with gorgeous strawberry-red brocade.
    “Welcome to the Red Hats,” the women said in chorus.
    “It’s beautiful, but I can’t accept it.”
    “Why not?” Joy asked.
    “Because I don’t want to be a part of no damn cult!” Alma exploded.
    “What makes you think we are a cult?” Dee asked.
    “You walk alike, talk alike, and dress alike. If that isn’t the signs of a cult, I don’t know what is. Besides, if I wanted to join the Red Hats, I would have asked to join. I don’t like anything being forced on me. You don’t know me. I don’t need this!”
    Alma stood and tossed her money onto the table.
    “That’s for my coffee. Just stay away from