Refrain (Soul Series Book 3) by Kennedy Ryan Page B

return.
    Everything.
    “If I ask you a question, will you be honest with me?” I tuck silky strands of dark hair behind her ear.
    “Of course.” In the faint glow of moonlight, she lowers her lashes before looking back up at me, waiting.
    I cup her chin and brush my thumb over the lushness of her mouth.
    “Do you want this baby?”
    I’ve surprised her. Her eyes widen and then drop.
    “I want this baby, yes.” I will her to lift her eyes back to me and she eventually does. “In about three years.”
    I asked for that. We always say we want honesty until the truth slips in like a dagger between our ribs. I draw a sharp breath like she stabbed me.
    “What are you saying? You want . . .” I can’t even string the ugly words together. I can’t even imagine that word anywhere near my baby.
    “No!” Shock flashes across her face. She cups my face with both hands. “Oh, Rhys, no. I wouldn’t. This is our baby. It never even crossed my mind. I promise.”
    I knew that. I know that. I believe her, but for just a second . . . relief steals over me, loosening the coiled muscles in my shoulders and neck.
    “That came out wrong.” She shakes her head and looks up at me, eyes earnest. “Really wrong. What I meant was I didn’t want this now .”
    She traces a line from my neck and over my chest before blowing out a short breath.
    “It’s like I don’t want this to happen now, but I do want our baby.” She scrunches up her face. “I know how that sounds, but I’m trying to be honest with myself and with you.”
    “I know.” I catch her hand and link it with mine to rest on my chest. “Keep talking. It’s okay.”
    All she has is moonlight to see my face, but she scans my eyes and expression until something satisfies her that I mean it. That she doesn’t have to hide from me.
    “You know that my whole life, especially the last five years or so, felt like this series of stops and starts. Like as soon as I have any momentum, something blocks it. Something delays it.”
    Her fingers tighten around mine, squeezing to emphasize her next words.
    “I was on birth control for a reason,” she says. “I didn’t want to have a baby right now. I’m coming off Luke’s tour, finally with Prodigy, featured on one of the biggest albums of the year with Grip’s song that’s about to drop. And I was up next. We were launching my solo career next.”
    “And we still can, Pep.” I stroke my knuckles over her cheekbone. “We still will.”
    Later .
    I don’t say the word out loud, but it somehow clangs as loud as a cymbal between us. She hears it. She knows it. It’s the truth.
    “Look.” I tip my head back to consider the ceiling for a second before looking back to her, trying to match the unflinching honesty she offered me. “There’s a lot we can do before the baby comes. We’ll find the best producers for you to work with. Start getting songs together. And we can record throughout your pregnancy. You can be in the studio the whole time.”
    “But . . .” Kai plucks the unspoken word right out of my head. She waits for me to say what we both know I have to say.
    “ But I don’t think we’ll have the songs recorded and the videos done before you start showing,” I continue. “And with dance being such a huge part of your brand, we’ll need you in the best shape of your life for those, and for the tour. You got a taste of how grueling world tours are, but that was just opening for Luke. This would be your own show, with multiple sets. A different city every night. And I feel strongly that we’ll get the most momentum if your world tour launches not too long after the album release.”
    “And since I can’t do the world tour until after the baby is born, you’d want to wait on the album release.” Her eyes find mine in the dim light. “Right?”
    Right.
    We stare at one another, each of us weighing our words. Waiting for the other to speak. She finally does.
    “Are you telling me this as my baby