Rent Me By The Hour by Leslie Harmison Page A

more about myself. What hobbies do I like to do? Something. I wouldn’t just walk up to someone I just meet and ask them what they do for a living. Like really? That’s such a deal breaker for me. What’s it to him what I do? I can already sense this is going to hit rock bottom.
     
    “I am in sales also. I buy oil rig parts and sell them to big companies.”
     
    “Oh ok.”
     
    “I have a two story condominium in Houston, and I drive a Jaguar. Did you see it parked in Matt’s driveway?”
     
    “No I didn’t.”
     
    “Yes it’s parked in their driveway. I had them move their truck so I can park it there. I wouldn’t want someone who’s passing by to accidentally hit it. She’s my baby.”
     
    What I would do right now just to be able to ram my truck into his precious little car. I’m wondering if this is how all conversations start now days when a man and a woman meet. I dig deep inside me to force a smile. “Oh.”
     
    “When I’m not busy making money, I like to take luxurious trips. I have been all over the world. It’s nice to have money.”
     
    “Oh. I wouldn’t know.” Someone please relieve me from this misery.
     
    “I thought you’re in sales. Is your company not making that much money? You might want to change careers.”
     
    This is one of those moments when I should have given my friends a code action. So when I touch my nose my friends can come excuse me from this idiot. Cocky little bitch is all I want to tell him. I keep reminding myself to breath slowly. Inhale. Ok now exhale. Ok inhale again. I really do not want to strangle this man in front of my kids. Why did Matt and Victoria even think I would hit if off well with this guy. He’s a narcissistic douchebag. There is no way I would ever want my kids around this asshole. I kindly tell him I need to check on my kids and I dash away from him. Far away.
     
    Calvin’s cellphone rings. Perfect timing. He excuses himself, “I’ll be right back.”
     
    I purse my lips hoping he wouldn’t come back. Victoria and Cynthia question me on how things are going.
     
    “He’s a fucking asshole. Oh my god. All he kept talking about was him. About where he lives, car he drives, and things he does since he has so much money. I told him I wouldn’t know how it is to have money, and he told me I should change careers since my business isn’t making money like his company.”
     
    “Did you tell him what you do?” Victoria looks at me concerned.
     
    “Hell no! I just told him I have a business in sales.”
     
    “Isn’t that the truth? You are selling those cookies.” Cynthia laughs, “He’s a dud. You should have told him you sell expensive cookies.”
     
    Cynthia is something else. I giggle, “Vic why would you and Matt think me and that dumbass would hit it off? I wanted to wring his neck.”
     
    “He wasn’t like that when I met him. He’s one of Matt’s clients. He was probably trying to impress you.”
     
    “Well I’m not impressed.” What woman would be interested in a man who’s stuck in his own ass?
     
    The hot spicy aroma is making my eyes and noses tingle. I grab two trays; scoop crawfish then call my kids to come eat. I’m going to need a beer after that conversation. I might need two. As I’m grabbing a beer from the ice chest, I get sidetracked from this gorgeous man standing by Rick. He keeps staring at me. I twist the cap from my bottle and take a sip. It’s Jeremiah. But I can’t let my friends know that I already know who he is.
     
    “Hey Cyn. Who’s that man talking to your husband?” I try to whisper in Cynthia’s ear trying not to look so obvious that I was talking about him, but my I have no clue because I’m so dingy best friend turns around to see who I was talking about.
     
    “Oh that’s Jeremiah. He’s another client of Matt’s but I think Rick said he met him through court.”
     
    “Court?”
     
    “Why? Does he fancy your cookie?”
     
    “What the hell?” I can’t