Restore Me by J. L. Mac

showered with me.
I want him back so badly. I’ve lost him. I just hope it isn’t
forever. I wash myself and linger beneath the water for what seems
like hours. Finally, I shut off the taps and step out. Goosebumps
spread across my skin and I shiver when the cold air hits me. I
towel dry my body and hair as fast as I can and bolt out the door,
making a beeline for the closet. I dig through the clothes that
Damon bought for me, searching fruitlessly for something resembling
pajamas.
    I feel his eyes on me and I turn to see him
leaning against the door frame, watching me. My towel is on the
floor and I don’t have a stitch on; I feel uncharacteristically
modest. He holds his big hand out to me and my heart nearly stops.
It isn’t much, but I’ll take it. I don’t hesitate, walking to him
and putting my hand in his. He turns and leads us to the bed, where
he strips down to his skin and pulls the covers back. We both crawl
into his big bed. I turn onto my side to face him; his arm curls
around my waist and drags me closer to him. It feels like breathing
after holding my breath for a lifetime. I nuzzle into him. His chin
rests on top of my head. I kiss his bruised chest and savor this
moment.
    “I’m trying,” he whispers.
    “I know.”
    He doesn’t utter another word. I feel his body
relax as sleep closes in.
    “I love you,” I whisper, barely loud enough for
even me to hear. I close my eyes and drift. Consciousness fades as
dreams of him confessing his love take over.
    ***

 
     
    I woke up to a note
this morning.
    I have things to get done. Be back. –D
    It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to start the day,
but at least I slept in his arms last night. I really shouldn’t
complain. He said he’s trying and I believe him. It’s just going to
take a while for him to get there, like Grams said. In the
meantime, I’ll give him whatever he wants, including “myself” via
kinky detached sex. Indifferent sex used to be my preference, and
now I find myself feeling robbed and cheap for having it. It
doesn’t matter, though. If it’s what he needs, I’ll oblige him.
I’ve dealt with much worse.
    I pick up his note and examine it again. He
didn’t say where he was going or when he’d be back. I check the
time on my cell phone, then type out a text message for him.
    Lunch with Grams today. See you after?
    I wait for a response but nothing comes. Part of
me can’t help but worrying about him, so I shoot Brian a text in
hopes that he’s with Damon.
    Is he with you?
    “You can’t come with me today, Hemingway. No
dogs at the old folks’ home. Be good.” I ruffle his fur then grab
my bag. In the elevator, my phone chirps. Whew. A text from
Brian.
    Yep. Working. Don’t worry, honey.
    I inhale deeply, relieved that he’s with Brian.
I know I don’t have to worry about anything when Brian is with him.
He always says he does all the stuff a wife would do but none of
the perks. He’s a character. On my way to see Grams, I stop at The
Diner to pick up lunch for us. I haven’t been there in weeks,
actually, and I called ahead because I didn’t want to have to wait
forever and make small talk with Noni. The last time I was here,
Damon was with me and she was acting like a weirdo. Maybe she was
pulling a Grams and thinking about hitting on a younger man.
    Noni bounces right over when she sees me come
in, making her way over to me with a big smile. “Hey, where’ve you
been, girl? I was actually starting to worry that you got sick of
this old place. Lord knows I’m sick of it.” She grins and I do my
best to seem legit when I laugh at her little joke.
    “Oh, Damon and I went out of town for a little
while. He just wanted to get away.”
    The ongoing story is that Damon and I have been
on vacation. Brian was a lifesaver when he spread the rumor and
held down the fort for him while he was recovering. No one knows
about what happened and we plan to keep it that way.
    “Oh, how nice! Where did he take you?”
    Brian