Safiah's Smile by Leora Friedman

that we’d have
the time of our lives,” his lips curved upward in a smile. “The
time of our lives,” he repeated. His lips were now crooked in
horror as he reflected on the irony of his words.
    “I don’t blame you, Danny!” Malia
shrieked, trying to penetrate his stubborn mind.
    “I should have been the first one
to notice he’d been gone too long. I was his best friend. But I
just let myself get too caught up in everything else. Everything
else that wasn’t important. And I forgot. How could I forget about
him? Maybe we could’ve found him if I had noticed sooner. Why
didn’t I notice sooner?” His voice echoed shrilly in the large,
vacant downstairs room.
    “Danny, I don’t blame you,” she
whispered. He finally remembered her presence and turned to face
her. “Please don’t blame yourself,” she begged.
    “You have no idea, Malia. No idea,”
he shook his head in resignation.
    She was horrified. What is he hiding? she thought. Why is he
afraid to talk to me? “Then tell me, Danny.
Tell me. I need to know. Maybe if you tell me about what you guys
went through over there, and about... about Sam,” her heart ached
in agony at the mere mention of his name, “things might get better.
At least a little,” she urged.
    He looked at her face and sighed.
Her green eyes beamed with fear, but also with intensity. An
intense desire to know. “Alright,” he finally surrendered. With a
sigh, he cleared his throat and disclosed to her his experiences as
a soldier. At least the ones her fragile mind could handle. The
ones her innocent heart could tolerate.
    “At first, everything was fine,”
he started nonchalantly, his tone casual. “Life was fine. Training
was tough, but we got through it together. Sam was great,” he
smiled. “You should’ve seen him, Mal.” Danny seemed to be entering
another universe – a universe filled with joyous visions of the
past. Sweet memories of just months prior.
    “He worked so hard. I have never
seen him work harder in his life, Malia. He was amazing. Everyone
was jealous of him. The generals loved him. I never thought I’d see
the day when an authority figure would actually admire our Sam,
Mal, but they did. They really did. And then,” his eyes which had
been focused on the ceiling in a reflective stare now reached
Malia’s glance and turned solemn.
    “ And then they set us free.
To fight. They said we were ready. But I don’t think they were
telling us the truth. They didn’t think we were ready, and neither
did we. But that’s what war is – fighting for what’s right even if
you’re scared. And I think everyone was scared, Malia,” he
confessed. Malia didn’t notice before, but he had a slim red gash
under his left eye. How did I
not notice? They had been conversing for
about an hour now. I wonder if
it’s burning. Maybe that’s why he seems so bitter. In such
agony. But somehow she knew that wasn’t why
at all. His affliction stemmed far deeper than the
physical.
    “That is, everyone but Sam was
scared. He didn’t seem scared at all.” He reflected on his words.
Why wasn’t Sam scared? he thought. Maybe if he was just a little
more scared, he’d have been more careful. More cautious. Maybe he’d
be here right now, sitting with them at Malia’s school. Chatting
casually about major league baseball and the latest Harry Potter
film. Maybe everything would be normal. His mind swelled
excruciatingly with the mere thought of what could have been.
    Malia was still staring intensely
at Danny. Waiting patiently. Her thirst for knowledge about her
brother was not yet quenched. But, no matter how much Danny
revealed, he knew that her hunger for information would never be
satisfied. Not until she knew where he was. Not until he came
back.
    The hours passed swiftly, as Danny
proceeded to reveal to Malia a side of her brother she never knew.
A person she was never acquainted with. A virtual stranger.
    A stranger she could not be more
proud of. She beamed