Sammy in Italy (Single Wide Female Travels #2) by Lillianna Blake

even more wakefulness.
    Max stretched out beside me and yawned. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”  
    “Me too.” I curled close to him.
    Maybe that was it? My longing for the excitement of the next day was preventing me from falling asleep?
    As I mulled the possibilities over in my mind, I realized that my entire pattern was out of balance. I’d been sleeping a lot less and eating erratically. There hadn’t been much of a routine to my life since I’d been on the tour. Maybe my body was crying out for a little more attention.
    At some point, long after Max had begun to snore, I fell asleep.

Chapter 21

    When my alarm went off, it was a bit of a shock. I didn’t want to wake up. I considered turning it off, but the draw of the sunrise meditation was enough to get me up out of bed. Hopefully being at a gathering of like-minded people would allow me to reconnect with my inner self.
    I dressed as quietly as I could in an attempt not to wake Max.
    When I slipped out the door my body ached with exhaustion. Without getting much sleep the night before, my stamina just wasn’t there. Still, I rode the elevator down to the lobby, then hailed a taxi to take me to the address of the meditation.
    The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I arrived. A small grassy park welcomed me. Toward the south end, a group of people sat in a wide circle. I noticed Isabella in the group, but she already had her eyes closed. I didn’t want to disturb her. I found an open spot and sat down in it.
    In the center of the circle a woman was playing singing bowls. The sound soothed me in such a way that my entire mood lightened. I took a breath—a real breath, a deep fulfilling breath—then I released it. I expanded as my breath expelled from my body. The limitations of bone and skin blurred as if I were becoming a cloud that drifted just above the ground.
    I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the singing bowls. The vibration of the melody carried across my nerves, first plucking, then soothing each one. I savored the experience.
    There it was—that peace that evaded me, that sense of place within the wide wonderful universe. I invited it to wash through every cell in my body. Lighter and lighter—even feeling slightly dizzy—I detached from all of the burdens I’d been collecting—the burden of anxiety, the burden of ego, the burden of expectations. Warmth spread throughout my body and for the first time in quite some time, a sense of wholeness flooded through me. I'd fought so hard to find the place I belonged, when the only place I truly belonged was within my own center. When I was there, the world molded itself around me.
    A shiver coursed up along my spine. It was so powerful that my eyes sprang open in reaction to it. The sun broke through the clouds in that exact moment. It nearly blinded me with its golden hue. It was perfect.
    As the meditation ended, a few people began to mingle. I tried to make my way over to Isabella, but other people seemed to be occupying her attention. While I waited, I pulled my shoes off and walked through the thick grass. Still a bit damp from the morning dew, it clung to my feet.
    I thought back to how anxious and rushed I’d been lately. I’d lost all focus on myself because my mind had been occupied by my need to please others. In the process, I’d become such an anxious mess that I’d sabotaged my own success.
    It made me sick to my stomach to think that I’d almost given up on everything. How could I lose clearness of sight so easily?
    I took another belly-filing deep breath. Just as I released it, the stinging started. My eyes flew open. I looked down at my feet to see ants all over them.  
    “No!” I yelped and danced around in an attempt to avoid the ants.
    Isabella noticed my distress and rushed over to check on me. “Are you dancing or are you hurt?” She grabbed my arm.  
    “Ants—ants everywhere!”  
    “Oh no—it should be out of season for those little bugs.