Sand Glass by A M Russell

then told her as much as I
could remember about all the times that we had spoken. She said
very little. Her warmth spread through me, defrosting that deep
frozen part of my heart. I ran out of words.
    ‘Now I
understand.’ She said, ‘I see how difficult this has been. Will you
tell me the bit about Jared?’
    ‘I’d rather
not.’ I said with that curl inside of pain that I hugged to myself
like a teddy bear for a strange kind of comfort. I couldn’t quite
find it in me to rip the top of that barely healed tender part of
me.
    ‘Shall I tell
you something?’
    ‘Yeah… just a
simple thing that you remember.’
    She smiled and
her eyes went glassy in the light from the light that glowed round
the edge of the door from the landing.
    ‘I don’t know
what to say.’ she said, ‘Isn’t that funny. There is so much, but
nothing seems right.’
    ‘Tell me about
your birthday then…. I must know about that.’
    ‘Jared and me,
we always go to our parents’ house in the summer. We both stay
there and spend some time together, just us…..’
    ‘Is it ok? Do
you want to tell me?’
    ‘Yes. You know
him too. And whatever happened to us, it’s still something that you
would need to understand.’
    ‘I know that
you are twins.’
    ‘Yes, we are.
Marcia told you. We have not considered anyone else coming into
this world we had created. But Marcia changed something for Jared.
He had seen her at a distance. He was fascinated by her. And he
asked me to invite her to the party. I mean, we were friends
anyway. So it would have been likely that I would have. But never
the less, I was a little jealous. So when Jared decided to leave to
come back to the Capital, I went with him. He had drunk something
earlier on, but had been on the fruit juice all evening. He liked
driving at night, and was feeling fresh from having had some time
out in the morning. He spent most of it in a sun lounger reading
heavy books.’
    ‘What kind of
books?’ I asked.
    ‘I’ll tell you
later. But the thing that is most cheering is the day it’s on.’
    ‘What day?’
    ‘Well it’s
Yorkshire Day!’
    ‘What does that
mean?’
    ‘You’ve never
heard of it? Shame on you!’
    ‘I didn’t know
it existed at all.’
    ‘You sad
creature.’
    ‘Yes; I am, I
admit to failing the test of a true native. I live just outside in
the countryside, not far away from yours. That is to say my mother
does. She runs a nursery.’
    ‘She looks
after children?’
    ‘No. Plants.
She grows allsorts.’
    ‘See. It’s not
so bad, is it?’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Cuddling, and
talking.’
    ‘I think I can
safely say that I could get used to this.’
    We said a few
more inconsequential things. The gaps got longer between each of us
speaking. I found we had slid into a half laid down position. I
don’t remember how, but I fell asleep.
     
    I came out of a
dream that felt uneasy and mixed up. I lay there in the dark,
looking up at the ceiling. Then I felt the slight movement of
Janey’s head against my chest. She was curled into me, and her
warmth was like that of a large pet cat. It warmed you right
through, right down to my toes, even thought it was quite cold in
the house at night.
    I didn't want
to get out from that wonderful warm nest of quiet security, but a
call of nature was insisting I did so. I slid out sideways. She
curled deeper into the duvet. I retrieved the crumpled jeans from
the floor.
    I was just
washing my hands a few minutes later, when something caught my eye
from the bathroom window. I wasn't sure what I had seen, so I found
my old shoes and my coat and trying not to jangle the keys, slipped
out of the back door.
    The moon was
out. A few high clouds scudded across it. The night had a definite
autumnal chill, and I pulled my coat around myself closely as I
tiptoed out to investigate.
    Nothing seemed
out of the ordinary. My mind was telling me I might have seen a fox
or perhaps a hedgehog. I took a few steps forward onto the dew
soaked