Scratch by Danny Gillan

‘He’s his own man.’
    That was no help, and I moved on. ‘Is it the German thing?’ I said, displaying more stupidity than even I thought myself capable of.
    ‘What?’ Paula looked suspicious.
    ‘Bruce Lee’s grandad was German.’ I was sure of my facts, but not so confident about their relevance. God knows why, but I continued. ‘Is that why your dad likes Ingo?’
    ‘You really are still a wanker, aren’t you?’ Paula shook her head. It looked more like disbelief than anger.
    I didn’t have an adequate defence on that one, so was glad when Sammy chose that point to return, bearing drinks.
    ‘Here you go, doll.’ He placed a large glass of wine in front of Paula. ‘I figured I’d better get you another pint too, Jim. I took it out of the kitty.’
    ‘Cheers, Sam.’ I took a slurp.
    ‘So what did I miss?’ Sammy said.
    ‘Jim has a theory that Germany is a unifying influence on my family history.’
    ‘Really?’ Sammy was all ears. ‘Tell me, then.’
    ‘Does anyone know the German for faux-pas ?’ I said. I was relieved to see Paula smile properly again. ‘Just me being drunk and daft, as usual.’
    Paula and Sammy looked at one another and nodded in silent agreement. ‘Jim Cooper,’ they said in unison. ‘You are by far the ...’
    ‘Yes, I know,’ I interrupted. ‘I’m the biggest wanker you’ve ever met. Ha and, what’s more, ha .’ I was getting a bit sick of that one. ‘Can we move on, perhaps?’
    ‘Sorry, Jim,’ Paula said. ‘Old times, you know? Anyway, back to reality. My dad reckons you’re going through early onset male menopause. Are you going to buy a motorbike and get a job in a pub?’
    ‘Well, hah,’ I said.
    ‘Didn’t he tell you?’ Sammy said. ‘He’s starting in here on Tuesday.’

Chapter 9
    Yes, Sammy offered me a job and I accepted. He might say I begged for a job and he relented but that’s bollocks, honest.
    Pulling pints for minimum wage, nothing wrong with that. It sort of fit with the whole ‘starting again’ thing. Being in The Basement with Sammy was a trifle surreal, but I decided to view it as a sign I was doing the right thing.
    And then there was Paula. As soon as I’d heard her voice I knew I was still in love with her. No debate, no arguments, no doubts. She was ‘it’.
    But ‘it’ was married.
    ‘So what’s your surname now, then?’ I said, when a group of freshly arrived customers prompted Sammy to leave us alone again.
    ‘Neumann.’
    ‘Paula Neumann , seriously?’ There were two angles there, but I chose the least controversial first. ‘Like Butch Cassidy?’
    ‘Yes, Jim, that’s exactly what it’s like.’
    ‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘So, how is your new man ?’
    ‘I’ve been with him for six years, he’s hardly new.’
    ‘Yeah, sorry. It’s just weird to think of you being married.’
    ‘I suppose I’ve had more time to get used to it than you,’ Paula said, dropping her eyes. And there was the awkwardness again.
    ‘I guess,’ I said. ‘Is it okay to ask if you’re happy?’
    Paula looked up. ‘It’s been a tough couple of years, but yes, I’m happy.’ I’m not sure if I only imagined some sadness in her smile. ‘Thanks.’
    ‘Your dad told me about the school not working out. That must have been hard.’
    ‘Yeah, it was sad. We put a lot into it. The crippling debt isn’t exactly pleasant, either. Still, I don’t know anyone who isn’t up to their eyeballs these days.’
    ‘I’m not,’ I said. ‘Or at least I won’t be in a couple of weeks.’
    ‘You’ve sold your flat, then?’
    ‘Yep, moving out on Sunday.’
    ‘Have you got a new place?’
    ‘Eh,’ I said. ‘Actually, it turns out there’s not going to be much left over once I pay everything off, so I’m going to stay with my mum and dad. Just for a wee while.’
    Paula shook her head and laughed. ‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but we lost touch because I thought you should have a bit of ambition beyond working in The Basement