being pregnant? What kind of man leaves you to deal with something like this all alone?”
“Mom, you don’t know what you’re talking about, so drop it, okay?”
“After your father, I think I do know a thing or two about men who can’t handle responsibility. You don’t want someone like that in your life, Kelsey. Forget about him now. You have your grandmother and me. We can see you through this.”
“This isn’t your life, Mom, and Jeff isn’t Dad. Far from it, in fact. I’m the one who doesn’t want to get married. I’m the one who’s having trouble facing all this. I don’t want a baby now. I’m not ready. I’d have an abortion, but Jeff got furious when I even mentioned the possibility, so I promised him I’d think about everything before I did anything that drastic.”
Kelsey felt awful when she saw the look of dismay thatcrossed her mother’s face. “I know you don’t believe in it, either, but how can I bring this baby into the world under these circumstances?”
“Sweetie, we don’t always get to choose the circumstances, but a child is a blessing, no matter when it comes along.”
“Really? Tell that to some poor woman who’s been raped.”
“Kelsey!”
“Well, it’s true. There are circumstances when it’s not a blessing, when the timing’s all wrong or the people are all wrong together or a thousand other reasons. Shouldn’t I have the right to say this is not right for me?”
She could tell her mother was struggling to be fair, to be impartial, even though she had very strong opinions of her own. And the truth was, after her initial desperate reaction to the pregnancy, Kelsey hadn’t been able to see herself getting an abortion, either.
“You do have a right to make your own choice, but only when you’ve weighed this very, very carefully,” her mom said. “This is one of those times when you can’t go back and undo an impulsive decision. You have to live with it for the rest of your life. And, to be honest, I’m probably not the best one to help you decide. We’re talking about my grandchild here. I might not have chosen this moment for him or her to come along, but that’s life. Things happen. We deal with them.”
Kelsey felt tears welling up. “I don’t want to deal with them. I don’t want to deal with this, ” she said, and threw herself into her mother’s arms. “How did I screw everything up so badly?”
“I think we both know the answer to that,” Hannah said, a hint of levity in her voice. “Why don’t you tell meabout Jeff? That might be a good place to start. You’ve never even mentioned him before, but he must be important if the two of you are about to have a baby together.”
Kelsey didn’t know how she felt about Jeff anymore. A part of her loved him. Another part was furious with him for his role in this predicament. Because her feelings about him were so conflicted, she said, “Could we go for a walk on the beach, instead? I think that’s what I need right now.”
Her mom looked as if she wanted to insist that they sit right here and talk, but eventually she relented. “Maybe a walk will do us both good,” she conceded. “Watching the waves come in, knowing they’ll still be doing the same thing tomorrow and the next day and long after we’re gone helps to put things in perspective. Problems never seem as huge and overwhelming by comparison.”
Kelsey gave her mom a wry look. “I was just thinking that maybe for a little while it would make me feel like a kid again.”
Hannah grinned. “Okay, that, too.”
“I remember the last time I was here, not for Grandma’s funeral, but before that. I was a junior in high school, I think, and you let me come down by myself during spring vacation.”
“Hardest thing I ever had to do, watching you get on that plane,” Hannah admitted as they slipped into sandals and walked across the street to the beach. “I knew you were old enough and responsible enough to travel alone, but