Seducing Jordan: A Second Chances Novella by Andrea Dalling Page B

be sure. And to be sure, I need to see other people.”
    “Girls, you mean.”
    “If I’m attracted to them, yeah. If I’m attracted to another guy, maybe I’d like to explore what that’s about, too.”
    Jordan shook his head. “If you had to choose between being straight and being with me, you’d choose being straight.”
    He combed his fingers through his hair. “Until I figure out who I am, I’m not ready to be in a committed relationship with anyone. I don’t want to give you up. But I also don’t want to feel guilty for experimenting with someone else. How do I know whether I want to be with girls, unless I try? How do I know if I’m attracted to other guys? I’m not talking about sex—just kissing and stuff. Is that so awful? Don’t you want that, too?”
    ***
    Jordan stared at him, struggling for words. Don’t be needy . He didn’t want someone else. He wanted Rick.
    What if Rick was right? Maybe Jordan should date other guys—just casually—to make sure Rick was The One.
    Open relationships were lame, but at least it was a relationship. Twenty-four hours ago, he would have given anything for a chance with Rick. Now he had it. Was he going to throw it away because it wasn’t all he wanted?
    He squeezed Rick’s hand. “If that’s what you want…I can live with that. I mean, as long as you’re questioning, it’s not really fair to ask for a commitment.”
    Rick’s body relaxed. He threw his arms around him.
    He kissed Rick’s cheek. “We should get back inside before they give our table away.” He took Rick’s hand and led him into the restaurant.

Chapter 10        
    Back at the cabin, they watched the Phillies game for a while with Jordan curled into Rick’s arms. Rick glanced over at him and the wave hit, the sheer beauty of Jordan. He leaned in for a kiss, and Jordan’s mouth plundered him. They tore into each other’s clothes. He raised his body over Jordan’s and rubbed their erections together. “So good, babe. I could come like this.”
    “That wasn’t the plan.” Jordan ran his tongue across Rick’s lips.
    “You’re sure?”
    He shrugged. “Nervous. But I want it.”
    In the lamplight, Jordan’s golden hair glowed against his tan skin. Looking at him, Rick didn’t care about tomorrow or next week or next year. Life was lived in the moment, and if you thought too much about the future, you missed out on today. Right now, the most beautiful man he knew was underneath him, hot and ready.
    Longing blossomed in his chest, not just physical desire, but a spiritual need to become one with Jordan. He wanted to be tender, to reassure Jordan that he was cherished. It wasn’t just Jordan’s body he wanted. It was all of him.
    He was a better man because of Jordan. The desire for Jordan’s respect had tamed his natural selfishness, made him work at compassion. He hated to think who he’d be if Jordan hadn’t come into his life.
    “You’re my best friend,” Rick said. “My lover. Maybe my future. This means everything to me.”
    Jordan’s eyes turned to liquid. “Me, too.”
    ***
    Jordan headed into the bathroom. He stripped out of his clothes and used the enema he’d stashed under the vanity. It felt weird, but he didn’t want to take any chances. He wanted to convince Rick that sex with him was better than it could be with a girl.
    The idea of giving himself to Rick this way made his body shiver with excitement. He’d read a lot about it, and felt confident he could do it without much pain, as long as they went slow. He trusted Rick to do this right, putting Jordan’s needs first.
    In the shower, the hot water ran down, relaxing his muscles. To combat his apprehension, he shuffled through the fantasies he’d had of Rick fucking him. His favorite was in the limo after prom. Desire pumped through his veins.
    He soaped and rinsed, then dried himself, barely sweeping the towel against his erection. It wouldn’t take much to send him over the edge. No matter