Selby Shattered by Duncan Ball Page A

sighed. ‘Why couldn’t you have made a film that has songs and dancing and lots and lots of great jokes like the ones Gary Gaggs tells? Who cares if no one likes it? Oh well.’
    At the sound of the word ‘songs', something mysterious began to happen. A little light on the computer began to blink. And then, with the words ‘dancing’ and ‘jokes', there was more blinking and even a faint whirring sound.
    ‘This computer’s got a brain of its own,’ Selby thought. ‘I’d better do something before it deletes the movie.’
    With this, Selby’s paw slipped silently sideways, hitting the UPLOAD button.
    Two hours later, Jigsaw Jabbar was woken by the sound of his mobile phone ringing.
    ‘Hello?’ he said sleepily. ‘No, I feel great now, Harry. Sorry I got so cranky. I just needed a good sleep. And I’m sorry about the film. They what? They loved it? They said it’s completely original? It isn’t like anything they’d seen before? But hang on, Harry, I never sent the film. Are you sure? What’s this about singing-and-dancingbattles scenes? And the princess telling jokes? I can’t remember any of that. Oh, look, I didn’t delete it, after all. It’s still on my computer. I’ll watch it right now and see what you’re talking about. Where’s that dog? No, a dog, Harry. There was a really nice dog in here — unless I dreamt him.’
    For a second, Jigsaw Jabbar was sure he saw a tail disappear through the crack in the curtain. But then he looked again and wasn’t so sure.
    It was a smiling self-satisfied dog that slipped out through the back window of the theatre and into the cool night air.
    ‘That’s what I call a good night’s work,’ Selby thought as he headed for home.
    Paw note: I ought to know — I’ve made a movie myself. See the story ‘Selby’s Stardom’ in the book
Selby’s Stardom
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    S
    Paw note: Of course my tag has my real name on it.
    S

The Story of a Story
    The Funny Little Bunny
    Once upon a time, a funny little bunny lived in a funny little bunny house with her happy little bunny brothers and sisters. Everything there was just happy happy happy all day long every day. Then one day the funny little bunny looked out the window.
    ‘Why bless my funny little bunny tail,’ she said. ‘Here comes a storm…’
    Melanie Mildew kept reading right to the end of her story.
    But the naughty storm didn’t knock the funny little bunny house down, so the funnylittle bunny and her little bunny brothers and sisters lived happily every after.
    ‘What do you think?’ she asked. ‘Do you think it can win the Story Week story-writing competition?’
    ‘Well, it is quite sweet,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Are you kidding? It’s rubbish,’ Aunt Jetty said. ‘Kids don’t want to hear about funny little bunnies. Listen to my one:
    Space Monsters From Hell Get Blown to Bits
    Ten-year-old Todd’s Space-Buster rocket zoomed down to the planet Zikash-Splash alpha 32. and then lots of three-headed monsters came out of holes in the ground. and then Todd turned his Duffertrog 309 Monster Blaster on them.
    Blam! Blam! Blam!
    ‘Kill kill kill!’ he screamed.
    and then the monsters exploded and green gunk went everywhere and even splattered Todd’s Space-Buster rocket so he had to turn on the windscreen wipers.
    Blamity boom! Blamity boom! Ker-blam! Ker-blam! Ker-blam!
    Aunt Jetty went on and on to the end.
    ‘Now that’s a story!’ she said. ‘And I reckon it’ll win.’
    ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit violent?’ Mrs Trifle asked.
    ‘Of course it’s violent. Kids love violence. Willy and Billy helped me write it and they’re kids. Now it’s your turn, Sis. Let’s see if you can beat that.’
    Mrs Trifle turned pink with embarrassment.
    ‘I’m afraid I haven’t written a word,’ she said.
    ‘But you can’t just dip out,’ Aunt Jetty said. ‘This whole story-writing thing was your idea. You wanted everyone to go in it and see if we could win the prize money for the school