Selby Shattered by Duncan Ball Page B

library.’
    ‘I just don’t know what to write about.’
    ‘Why not? You even took a writing course.’
    ‘That was years ago and it was just to help me write reports for the Council. Making up stories is completely different.’
    ‘I do think it’s only fair that you write something, too,’ Melanie Mildew said. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’ve gone.’
    *  *  *
    That afternoon, Selby watched Mrs Trifle scribble on pieces of paper and then throw them all away. From time to time, she pulled her hair and sighed and moaned the way writers sometimes do when they can’t think of what to write.
    ‘Poor Mrs Trifle,’ Selby thought. ‘She can’t write a story because she can’t make things up. She’s too honest.’
    Mrs Trifle scrunched up another piece of paper.
    ‘I give up,’ she sighed.
    ‘This is terrible!’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got to help her, but how can I?’
    Suddenly an idea-light went on in Selby’s head.
    ‘Hold the show! Where’s that how-to-write book from her writing course? It’s got to be around here somewhere.’
    Selby raced to the bookcase and found the book. It was called
Writing for Ninnies.
    ‘I’m sure there was a chapter on story writing,’ he thought, as he pawed through the pages. ‘Yes! Here it is! Let’s see now —
Story Starters.
‘
    Look around you. There are stories lurking everywhere, just waiting to be discovered. Look at your pants. Now use your imagination. What if they were on fire? How did the fire start? What’s going to happen? There is the start of a story. Or look out the window. It’s summer and it’s hot. Now use your imagination. What if it suddenly turned cold and started snowing. There’s a story in that, too. Or look at your husband or wife. What if they weren’t who you thought they were? What if their body had been taken over by an alien. There’s the start of another story.
    ‘This is just what Mrs Trifle needs to get her started,’ Selby thought. ‘I’ll just leave the book lying open on the floor.’
    It wasn’t long before Mrs Trifle noticed the book and picked it up.
    ‘My old book. I forgot that I even had it. It must have fallen off the shelf,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘And what a coincidence. It’s opened to a page on story writing. Hmmm.
Look at your pants.”
Mrs Trifle looked down at her pants.’
What if they were on fire?
Well, they’re not. Pants on fire. That’s just silly. How would you make a story out of that?’
    ‘There are lots of ways,’ Selby thought. ‘What if someone told a lie and the old
liar, liar pants on fire
rhyme came true?’
    ‘Look out the window,’
Mrs Trifle went on.
‘It’s summer and it’s hot.
No, it’s not. It’s winter.
What if it suddenly turned cold and started snowing?
Well, it wouldn’t surprise me.’
    ‘It would me,’ Selby sighed silently in his brain. ‘Because it’s never snowed in Bogusville before. But who cares? Just make something up! Think! What if a volcano came right up under Bogusville?’
    ‘Look at your husband or wife,’
Mrs Trifle read on. ‘Well I don’t have a wife and I can’t look at my husband because he isn’t here. All I can write about is what I do. And being the mayor of Bogusville isn’t interesting enough for a story.’
    ‘If only she could let her imagination run wild,’ Selby thought. ‘Why doesn’t she imagine that she’s not just the mayor of Bogusville but the mayor of … of the
universe?
Hey, I like it. Maybe I’ll write it myself.’
    That night, when the Trifles were soundasleep, Selby went to the computer and answered some emails from kids.
    ‘Now for my story,’ he thought. ‘What will I call it? How about
Mrs Trifle, Mayor of the Universe.
Okay, there’s this evil dude from a different dimension who’s trying get her sacked …’
    Selby’s mind was racing ahead when he heard the sound of the toilet flushing.
    ‘Uh-oh!’ he thought. ‘Someone’s out of bed! They’ll catch me using the computer! My