Seth Baumgartner's Love Manifesto by Eric Luper Page A

The Love Manifesto. The second episode ever. Someday, when I have my own syndicated show—you know, with big advertisers and everything—you can say you were here when it all began. You watched the tiny acorn grow into a mighty oak.
    Right…
    That last song was “Area Codes” by Ludacris. It’s about the women he’s got all over the country—in all different area codes. And an excellent song to open up the topic for today.
    But first I want to talk about something else. Earlier today, someone asked me to list all the reasons why I loved my ex. That got me thinking. And since I like a challenge,I’m going to share the list with you, my loyal listeners. Don’t you feel lucky? Let’s see…the first reason I love my ex is because she always leveled with me, good news or bad. Sure, it blew up in my face when she dumped me, but she’d been straight with me before that.
    Reason number two is the way her face lights up when she gets her McDonald’s French fries. Of course, I just got fired from a French fry place, so I’m still a little fragile. But, honestly, is there anything more perfect than that little bit of fried sunshine?
    Now before I bore everyone with more stories about my girlfriend—sorry, my ex-girlfriend—I’m going to talk about another subject that is cutting me deep. And, yes, it’s all tied into this topic of love. The topic is parents. You might be wondering what parents have to do with the song “Area Codes” by Ludacris. Just hang in there.
    Thinking about my parents and their relationship skeeves me out. Thinking about them having sex totally skeeves me out. I mean, can anyone out there even look at their parents kissing? I think we’re hardwired to be disgusted by that. But I’m getting way off topic here.
    At first I wasn’t going to mention this one on the air, but I’ve decided to keep it real here on The Love Manifesto. And there’s no way I can keep it real without bringing this up.
    I saw something the other day that freaked me out. No, it wasn’t my parents kissing. No, it wasn’t finding condoms in my father’s nightstand. No, it wasn’t my folks hooking up on the kitchen counter—that was when I was five. God,that was disgusting. What I saw the other day totally blows all that stuff out of the water.
    It was much worse.
    If you want a hint, just listen to the song I just finished playing.
    But if you want to hear all the gory details, you’ll have to stay tuned….
    
    All I can say is if my dad is so unhappy with my mom, why wouldn’t he just tell her he wanted a divorce? Why wouldn’t he suggest they go to counseling to try to work things out? I mean, he must’ve been head over heels for her once, otherwise they would never have gotten married, right?
    Well, before I reveal too much too soon, I’ll let you guys listen to another tune. And when we return I’ll share some feedback I got from a listener about what “too comfortable” means and maybe list a few more reasons I love my ex. This one is called “Last Time” by Secondhand Serenade….
    Outro Music: “Last Time” by Secondhand Serenade

CHAPTER TEN
    T he two-story brick buildings of the Schuyler Village condominium complex sit on the hill behind the hospital. The complex isn’t far from Dimitri’s house and is nothing like the high-end condos they just built down the road. The place is bordered on two sides by a chain-link fence and on another by the highway. We trawl around until we find the Acura parked next to a row of blue Dumpsters. I pull into a space and stare at my father’s girlfriend’s car. It seems to be in pretty good shape for an ’01, with only a few small scratches on the left rear bumper and a hairline crack in the taillight on the same side. Peeling tribal decals stretch along the side from the