Shades of Fortune by Stephen; Birmingham

to use the rubber end of the vacuum cleaner hose to try to arouse myself. All at once, with Gloria, those days are gone forever.”
    â€œReally, Edwee,” Nonie says. “ Really . It must be that female Jungian you’ve been going to.”
    â€œI’ll say this, Nonie: forty-two years of analysis have finally begun to pay off. You see, I’ve finally learned to be honest with myself, and to act out my fantasies. Thanks to Dr. Ida Katz—and Gloria.”
    â€œWell,” she says, tapping the tips of her fingernails on his desktop, “I’m sure you didn’t drag me back here to talk about your sex life, which I’m really not interested in—”
    â€œAnd we videotape each other,” he says. “ That was Dr. Katz’s idea. We videotape each other while we’re having sex, and then, while we’re having sex the next time, we play the videotapes back. We even have videotapes of ourselves making videotapes. Oh, it’s quite wild and, as you say, quite wonderful.”
    Nonie says nothing, looking up at the ceiling, once more as though balancing something small and invisible on the tip of her nose.
    â€œBut, back to less pleasant matters,” he says. “We really have a pretty kettle of fish on our hands, don’t we?”
    â€œYou mean Brad and his alleged lady friend? I thought he and Mimi seemed perfectly relaxed and normal tonight. I don’t think we should get involved in it, Edwee. If they’re having any problems, that’s their business. After all, all she is to us is our niece.”
    â€œOh, I’m not talking about that, ” he says. “I agree that’s a very minor matter. Interesting, but m-m-m-minor.” He fumbles in the pocket of his dinner jacket for his pipe, finds it, extracts it, and lights it carefully. “I’m talking about our mother, Nonie. I’m talking about Maman . It’s perfectly clear to me that she’s finally gone around the bend. She’s going to have to be put away, and it’s going to have to be our unhappy task—yours and mine—to do it.”
    â€œYou mean her outburst at Alice tonight? I agree that was … unfortunate. But it was Alice’s fault. Alice shouldn’t have contradicted her. Mother doesn’t like to be contradicted. She’s always been like that.”
    â€œNo, no, no, ” Edwee says, gesturing in the air with his pipe. “I’m not even talking about that, though that was more of her craziness—saying that Alice had killed a man, for God’s sake, when we all know that poor Henry’s death was a tragic accident, and Alice was hundreds of miles away in Saratoga when it happened. And saying that our father kept some sort of diary, which we know he didn’t, and getting that young reporter all excited. I’m not talking about any of that. Besides, poor tragic Alicia was drunk as a lord.”
    â€œI don’t think she was, Edwee. I saw her refuse wine at the dinner table, and I heard her ask Felix for ginger ale during cocktails.”
    â€œAnyway, I’m not talking about any of that. I’m talking about Maman . You may call it Alzheimer’s disease, but I call it senility—senility in its most advanced, irreversible stage.”
    â€œI only mentioned Alzheimer’s because I didn’t want that reporter to take that outburst of hers too seriously. She’s not—”
    He rises slowly from his chair, carrying his pipe, and moves toward the French doors. “A poor old woman, nearly ninety,” he says, “now completely incompetent to handle her own affairs. Probably incontinent, too. Did you notice the many trips to the bathroom?”
    â€œI only noticed one.”
    â€œLiving alone, totally blind—”
    â€œI’m not even sure about that, Edwee. I think she sees better than she lets on. She noticed yellow tulips. She said she could smell they were yellow.