Silence 4.5 by Janelle Stalder Page A

nervous step forward, watching him closely. "You said you'd do it for me. Why?" The last word came out as a whisper. She was terrified to even ask, afraid he might laugh it off and it really not meaning anything.
    But he didn't laugh.
    His breathing turned heavy, his eyes darkening, as he appeared just as afraid as she was. "Because," he said.
    She waited as he seemed to search for more words. Closing the remaining space between them, Bastian reached out to cup her face gently.
    "Because if I help, then you can stay here. With me. I don't want to let you go, Pixie. I'm afraid of what I'll turn into if you do, and I’ll keep living this life. You make things better. You make life worth exploring again. I want to see what it would be like if we stayed together."
    Pixie swallowed against the lump in her throat. "Why me? You don't even know me."
    "I want to know you," he replied. "There's something between us that I know will only get better as we learn more about each other. I want that. I want you."
    "I want you too," she said, finally allowing herself to smile.
    He sucked in a breath, moving his hand to brush the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. "Good," he said, matching her smile. "Now I think I should go tell your friends all this. I think they believe I'm going to kill them all."
    She chuckled. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Pixie pulled herself against him, bringing their lips close enough that she could feel his breath against hers. "They can wait."
    And then she kissed him.
     

     
    Nothing felt better than having Pixie in his arms. Her mouth fit perfectly with his, robbing him of any coherent thought. All he knew at that moment was that this was right. Whatever he’d done to lead up to this moment, all the lying and cheating, all the bullshit – none of that mattered anymore. He might have fallen far, but he was rectifying that now.
    When he’d finally come to the decision to help them, he’d known immediately that it was the right thing to do. Yes, it also meant he could stay with Pixie, which was one of the main reasons it appealed so much to him, but he also knew it was simply the humane thing to do.
    Having the connections he did, and knowing he could arrange to speak with someone from the armed forces across the ocean, and possibly get a considerable amount of people here, was what made his past all worth it. If he hadn’t lost himself in the Outlands, and all the shit that came along with it, he wouldn’t have made the connections he had.
    Now that would help. And not just him, but all the people of the country he loved – used to love, when it was still full of life and possibilities. Pixie was his possibility. She represented a chance at love and happiness, and he’d been miserable for too long to pass it up.
    His sister Maggie always said he deserved to be happy. He hadn’t believed it then. Christ, he hadn’t believed it for all the years since. But he did now. And he would make Pixie happy in return. If there was anything he’d do now, it would be to bring that smile to her face. The one that lit up every line of her beauty; the one that took his breath away every time.
    Grabbing the back of her legs, he hoisted her up into his arms, carrying her to the bed. Before he knew it, they were skin to skin, and he felt like he could breathe again. That’s what she was for him – air. Sinking inside her, he held himself above her so he could watch every expression that filled those big, blue eyes as he moved.
    She made him feel weak and strong all at the same time. It was confusing and new, but he wasn’t going to let it scare him. He would embrace these new feelings, because at least he was finally feeling something. Before Pixie, everything had been black and white. The same thing day in and day out. She added colour, made things seem brighter and better.
    He had no idea why. He could only assume they were just meant to meet, and meant to be together. Maggie always said there was such thing