plate or a fork, you wash it. Just because weâre poor doesnât mean we have to live in filth. You can be poor and clean at the same time.
Marco, my other son, is six years old. Heâs taking a nap on the couch. His digital camera is on a cord around his neck. Marco loves to take pictures of anything and everything. My dream for him is that someday heâll work for National Geographic .
Ernest, his dad, is waiting for me. Ernestâs parents are both from China, which means Marco is half Chinese, a quarter Latino, and a quarter white. The white comes from my dad, the Latino from my mom. Dreâs father was black, so Dre is African, European and Latino. When weâre all together, the house looks like the lobby of the United Nations.
âYou let him sleep with this thing on?â I say. âHeâll strangle to death.â I take the camera off Marcoâs neck.
âThatâs an old wivesâ tale,â says Ernest. âIf he started choking, heâd wake up. Besides, I tried to take it off him and he wouldnât let me.â
âSometimes those old wives were right,â I say.
Ernest is wearing the kind of clothes I hate on him: a tight muscle shirt and jeans that show off how much heâs been going to the gym. He never worked out once during the years we were married. Sometimes I wonder if heâs trying to get me back, making me jealous by showing off his new body. It ainât working.
I keep him waiting while I go with Dre to his room and help him take off his shoes. I make him lie down to rest. Then I go back out into the living room.
âWhatâs going on?â Ernest asks me. He crosses his arms and waits. Ernest is mostly bald, and when heâs concerned, he doesnât just wrinkle his forehead. He wrinkles his whole scalp.
I fill him in. He nods.
âWell, you just let me know if thereâs anything I can do, baby,â he says. âAnything at all, Iâm there for you.â
I hate it when he calls me baby. Thatâs another thing he never did when we were married. I would like nothing better than for him to just go away and leave me alone. But we have a son together, and I need his support.
And at least Ernest isnât in jail, which is more than I can say for some peopleâs fathers. Ernest has a decent job, and he believes in taking care of his kid.
âIâll need you to help with Marco,â I say. âAnd I hate leaving Dre alone while heâs this sick. I know heâs not your kid, but if youâre here with Marco anyway, it doesnât matter, right?â
Ernest nods.
âNo problem,â he says. âDre is a great kid. We always got along well.â
âI have to go to work now,â I say. âCan you stay with them until I get back?â
âSure thing, baby,â says Ernest. He starts moving in closer, for what reason I am afraid to ask, so I dodge him and go into the bathroom. Itâs going to take a lot more than this to make up for what he did. But I donât even want to think about that right now. I need to start getting ready for work.
Iâm trained as a continuing care assistant. I go into peopleâs homes and do some nursing and some light housekeeping as they recover from illnesses. Or sometimes I just sit with them while they die. I feel like itâs important work. So do my clients. The only ones who donât seem to feel that way are the ones who sign my paycheck. When the work is steady, itâs not a bad living. Itâs enough to pay the bills. But it hasnât been steady for a long time. This economy is destroying us.
I could drive to work. But I decide to leave my car at home to save gas money. I take the bus a few miles down the road to a senior citizenâs apartment complex. This is where Iâm working right now. I let myself into the apartment and call out:
âMiss Emily! Itâs Linda Gonzalez.â
I donât hear