STARTING OVER by Kathy Clark

cooking and cleanup."
    Kate swallowed the shrimp she had been chewing. She was delighted with Rusty's suggestion, but it also disturbed her. There was an amount of intimacy that pushed the boundaries of a comfortable friendship in the thought of having dinner in a fancy restaurant. Once they left the confines of this office or the casualness of her kitchen, it would seem too much like a date. And Kate definitely wasn't ready for that . . . especially with Rusty. It was too soon. She was too pregnant. And he was too young.
    The realization struck her that time would pass and also that she wouldn't be pregnant for much longer. However, he would always be seven years younger than she was. And he never let her forget that he was only in this area temporarily.
    "No, I don't think that would be a good idea," she responded, hoping she would be able to discourage any personal intent without losing the pleasure of his friendship. "It's getting too close to my delivery date, and I don't want to stray far from my home and the hospital. But I have a friend who loves going to restaurants. Her name is Elaine, and she's—"
    "Don't tell me," he protested with a good-natured chuckle. "Let me guess. She's beautiful, intelligent and a very good cook."
    Rusty had another quick flight in the afternoon. He wasn't back by the time Kate left for the evening. Oddly, she felt even more alone than before. Because of the large, late lunch, Kate decided a salad would satisfy even the most diligent nutrition police, so she put together a large bowl of fresh greens and vegetables. When Rusty had still not arrived for his regular swim, she sat down to a quiet, boring meal.
    After picking at her salad for several minutes, she wrapped cellophane over the bowl and put it into the refrigerator. She wandered out to her patio, watered her pot plants and gathered a bouquet of colorful roses to brighten the house, which seemed gloomier than usual.
    By the time the sky had darkened into night, Kate accepted the probability that Rusty wouldn't be stopping by, so she locked the doors, turned out the lights in the front part of the house and went to her bedroom with the intention of taking a hot shower, then going to bed early. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt fully rested, because she didn't seem to be able to sleep more than a couple of hours at a time before the baby, a leg cramp or an urgent need to go the bathroom awakened her. Perhaps being in bed an extra hour or two would increase her odds of patching together a total of eight hours of sleep.
    Kate tossed her dirty clothes into the hamper, then turned on the water. Before stepping into the tub, she couldn't help but glance at her misshapen figure. She had always taken pride in her appearance, watching her weight and keeping her hair styled in a fashionably attractive cut. Now, as she gazed at the gigantic midsection bulge where her baby had lived and grown for the past eight and a half months, she was more amazed that her body had been able to stretch and adjust itself so much than she was depressed about her out-of-proportion measurements.
    Since this was her first pregnancy, she had read every book she could get her hands on about the process, and she had followed her doctor's orders to the letter. But still, the strange sensations, the movements, the changes in all her systems were a surprise—a delightful, cherished surprise. Although women had been experiencing exactly the same thing for thousands of years, Kate couldn't keep from believing that what she was feeling was somehow unique and very, very special.
    She had waited a long time for this baby. It had been her and Doug's choice—actually, more Doug's than hers—to put off having children. Around her thirtieth birthday, Kate's maternal instincts had begun to nag her. By her thirty-fifth, the ticking in her ears had all the subtlety of Big Ben. She pressed Doug for a decision, and he hadn't objected. Only a few months after she