Stay At Home Dad 03-Father Knows Death by Jeffrey Allen

through her hair. “I need you to stay here and keep your mom company. In case she sets herself on fire.”
    “I know where the fire extinguisher is!” Carly exclaimed. “It’s in the closet!”
    “Excellent,” I said. “If you see any flames around her body, you pull the pin on that thing and aim it at the middle of Mommy.”
    “Okay.”
    Julianne ignored us and continued plowing through the eggs, sweat streaming down her forehead, determined to pop that kid out.

19
    I was halfway to the fairgrounds when I realized someone was following me. And they weren’t doing a very good job of staying inconspicuous. Amateurs.
    I’d showered and dressed and put gas in the minivan and was in the middle of town when I spotted a black Toyota Prius right behind me. I’d noticed it at the gas station because it was at the pump across from me and the college kid driving it hadn’t seemed to know where to put the gas in. He’d puttered around it nervously, before finally sticking the nozzle where it belonged. When I’d finished at the pump, he’d hurriedly done the same, spilling gasoline on the ground and hustling to get in his car.
    The car had stayed right behind me since I’d left the station and as I pulled into the fairground parking lot, it turned in, too, parking several rows over from me, despite the fact that there were only a few cars in the lot.
    I took my time getting out and watched the Prius driver get out, along with a girl on the passenger side. Both looked to be college aged and both wore sunglasses. He had on plaid Bermuda shorts, a tank top with a peace symbol in the middle of it, and slip-on Vans. The girl wore her long blond hair in a tight braid, denim shorts, and a bright green T-shirt with a design on it that I couldn’t make out.
    They both seemed unsure of themselves and I just stood at the back of the minivan, waiting them out. They whispered back and forth, shooting furtive glances my way, probably waiting for me to move.
    I sat down on the back bumper of the van and smiled at them.
    They whispered some more and then finally headed my way.
    “Was wondering if we were going to stand here all day and just look at one another,” I said when they got close.
    They exchanged glances again and the girl cleared her throat. “We know who you are.”
    At least they hadn’t tried to deny that they were following me. “Okay.”
    “The private detective,” she said. “Right?”
    “You said you knew who I was. You tell me.”
    “You’re Deuce Winters,” the guy said.
    “And who are you two?”
    Nervous glances again.
    “I’m Dorothy,” the girl said. “He’s Scarecrow.”
    “Really.”
    “As far as you know.”
    “The Tin Man couldn’t make it? He have to work today, or is he in the back of the Prius with the flying monkeys?”
    They both shuffled their feet. They may have followed me, but they were absolutely not professionals.
    “Okay, Dorothy,” I said. “I’ll play along for now. Why were you following me?”
    “We have information for you,” Dorothy said.
    “Yeah? Okay. Information would be great. I’m always looking for information. It’s just like free money.”
    “Hey, man,” Scarecrow said, trying to give me a hard stare. “She’s serious. We’re serious.”
    I gave him my own hard look. “You just named yourselves after characters from The Wizard of Oz and looked like you wanted to pee your pants when I sat here and waited you out. Excuse me if I don’t take you too seriously right now.”
    “Talking to you could get us in trouble,” he said, lowering his voice, despite the fact that we were the only ones in the parking lot.
    “How’s that?”
    He looked at Dorothy.
    “We have information about George Spellman,” Dorothy said.
    I hesitated. “Have you shared it with the police?”
    They both made faces like I’d force-fed them lemons.
    “Man, the pigs are a joke,” Dorothy hissed. “They’d never believe us. They hate us.”
    I didn’t think I’d