Stay With Me by Jenny Anastan Page A

to miss him and his warmth.
    “Are you going to call?” I asked, already knowing his answer.
    “As always,” he said as he reached the door. “Zoe?”
    I turned toward him. “Yes?”
    “Add more chocolate.”
    “Why?”
    “It’s my favorite.” He winked and left.
    I smiled to myself. “Coconut chocolate cookies it is.”
     
    I went back to them, but stopped for a few seconds to observe the scene: Olly spoke with excitement while Andrew looked at her with a rapt expression, his elbow resting on the table, and his hand holding up his chin.
    In that moment I felt guilty.
    My decision not to tell Andrew had kept them from enjoying many moments like these. I’d deprived Olivia of growing up with her father by her side.
    I shook my head and brought my daughter her milk, driving the thoughts away. It was useless to start feeling guilty. I would try to make things work out between them now.
    “Here, love.”
    “Tank you, Mommy.” I smiled at her. She still had some problems pronouncing certain letters and phonemes.
    “Mommy, can Andew come with us?”
    “I . . .” I turned to look at him. “Do you want to come with us?”
    “Of course,” he said, revealing a marvelous smile. “I would love to.”

    We’d arrived at the park, and Andrew and I walked quietly side by side while the little one skipped in front of us and gathered flowers from the edge of the trail. She looked so happy and carefree, in stark contrast with my own state of mind.
    A thousand different sensations crept under my skin, some ugly, many beautiful.
    It was the first time Andrew and I were out together . . . in public. That side of our relationship had been notably missing four years ago, and I’d always regretted it, even now, after everything had ended between us.
    I felt nostalgic for us, for what we used to have, and for what I had wanted from him. How silly of me to get lost in those painful thoughts.
    I opened my mouth to break the suffocating silence. I had no idea why, among all the things I could have said, I asked him about the one thing I was least interested in: “So where’s Ashley? What did you tell her to be here this morning?”
    Andrew gave me a cold look, put his hands in his pockets, and shrugged. “She’s out of town for a photo shoot.”
    I didn’t ask anything else about her out of fear I would ramble, and the last thing I wanted to hear was him defending her. The way I’d always wished he’d do for me.
    “In any event, Andrew, you can take that look off your face. I know you’ve got it out for me, but I don’t care. You asked if you could get to know Olly, so at least try to smile for her,” I said softly so Olly didn’t hear anything.
    “Don’t tell me what to do.”
    “I will. That young girl over there”—I pointed to Olivia—“she’s my daughter, and she’s led a happy and carefree life up until this morning. I won’t allow anyone to spoil even one moment of her life. Not even you.”
    “I am not ‘no one!’ I’m her father!” he growled.
    “Unfortunately, I can’t forget that.” My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes with a look that seemed capable of killing me. But I decided to pull the trigger. “But I have other options to consider.”
    “Are you threatening me?”
    I shrugged. “Take it however you like.”
    “You need to listen to me,” he whispered.
    “Of course, how could I not?”
    “Zoe, quit using that tone,” he rebuked. “And I insist you listen to me. This was the last thing I expected from you. I would never have believed you could do this to me, after everything that happened between us .”
    I looked at him, shocked and at the peak of my exasperation. He’d pronounced “us” as though there’d actually been something more than what he’d left behind. I hadn’t forgotten our last morning together. The memories were still vivid: his cruel words, his desire to have a final farewell fuck . . .
    What else did he expect from me?
    “It was only