Sticks & Stones by Abby Cooper Page A

never be that kid.

 
    16
    THE ONLY CERTAIN THING
    â€œIt’ll just be a quick check-in, I promise,” Mom said for the thousandth time as we walked into Dr. Patel’s office.
    There was that ten-thousand-piece puzzle again, and again I was rushed into the firefighter room right away and there was no time to do it.
    â€œHello, ladies!” Dr. Patel said.
    Hello, torture! I thought. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about everything that was wrong with me or had been wrong with me in the past or could be wrong with me in the future.
    Mom started telling him the whole story right away, so I grabbed the fake fire-truck steering wheel (a new addition since my last visit!) and zoned out till she got to the end.
    â€œAnd so, while I think it would be wonderful for Elyse to perform on the piano, I know how hard she can be on herself. And kids can be mean, and even a small mistake can become a really big deal. Just look at what’s been going on with her for these past few weeks!” Mom grabbed my arms and pushed up my sleeves.
    â€œHey!” I jerked them back, but it was too late. Dr. Patel could see everything— DUMB , WEIRD , AWESOME , COOL —all of the words. I was a mix of happy and sad and itchy and not. My date with Nice Andy and the hangout with Olivia had helped, but not enough to make all the bad things go away. Jeg had still ditched me. Liam still didn’t like me. I still wasn’t Explorer Leader.
    â€œYou see?” Mom asked. “She’s so easily influenced. This could take her back to when we saw you last—all bad stuff. Slathered in cream. Miserable.”
    I glanced at the fuzzy fire-dog puppet on Dr. Patel’s desk and wondered if I got a say in any of this. Mom’s worries made sense, I guess, but it would be nice to be asked what I thought, too. Even if I wasn’t exactly sure what I thought.
    â€œI see your concern completely,” Dr. Patel said. “It’s risky. The show could go badly, definitely. Not that I’m doubting your piano-playing skills or anything, Elyse.” He flashed me a quick smile. “But it could also go really well. Get her more nice words, boost her confidence.” He looked at me again. “The only certain thing in life is doubt. A performance might not go well. The floor of this office might crack open in the next minute and we could all fall through it.”
    â€œWhat does that have to do with anything?” I asked when I finally got to speak.
    â€œI’m just saying, none of us know for sure what’s going to happen. Ever. Anytime. With anything. So it comes down to how comfortable you are taking the risk. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
    I considered it.
    â€œI mess up. Bad. Everyone laughs and says horrible things about me. I think horrible things about me.” In my head, I added, And the mystery-note writer would be disappointed and probably wouldn’t help me get Explorer Leader, the one thing that would cover me in good words from head to toe!
    â€œAnd if you mess up, bad, and everyone laughs and says horrible things, what would happen?” Dr. Patel asked. This seemed kind of silly. He already knew the answer, didn’t he?
    â€œBad words would pop up on my arms and legs. They’d itch a lot. It’d be awful.”
    â€œBut haven’t bad words popped up before? And itched?”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œAnd did you live?”
    â€œI guess.”
    â€œSo,” Dr. Patel said, leaning back in his chair. “It’s up to you. And I’ll be here to help no matter what you decide. As your mom likes to say, sticks and stones…”
    *   *   *
    After a quick snack stop, we got home and I went straight over to my stash of piano books and flipped through them. There were some songs I knew really well. I had played them sort of recently when my grandparents came to visit.
    Mom came over and sat next to me