Stirring the Pot by Jenny McCarthy

often. Either way, you get so much off your chest, so keep up the good work.
The Importance of Impatience
    Impatience is a terrific stress reliever and blood pressure reducer. I mean, time doesn’t grow on trees, and it’s not going to slow down just because the lady in line ahead of you has to count out her change (see “Ten Signs You’re Getting Older,” this page ). Nothing feels better than loudly and frequently expressing your displeasure with everyone else’s pace. Who cares that your impatience ratchets up everyone else’s stress? Pounding on the dashboard when you’re stuck in traffic lets off
your
steam; you don’t have time to worry about your passenger’s feelings, anyway!
The Rightness of Righteousness
    Some say that knowing you’re right, that everyone else is mistaken, and that God is definitely on your side isno way to go through life. Clearly, I disagree. It’s such a liberating outlook—you can go about your business without a worry in the world. People are just jealous of your confidence, that’s all.
The Beauty of Blame
    Do you find yourself coming up with excuses as to why it’s not your fault when the shit hits the fan? How often do you hold yourself accountable? If your answers are “hell yes” and “never ever,” then you are a major-league blamer. The benefits of this state of mind are so obvious I really don’t need to list them. Talk about blissful ignorance! Personal accountability is so overrated.
The Blessing of Narcissism
    Kanye West really is God’s gift to the planet. Need I say more?
    STAY THE COURSE
    Don’t be fooled by the optimists and the kind-hearted, evolved people in your life. If you find yourself being swayed by their rainbows and crystals and yoga chanting, hit the brakes. Trust me, I’ve driven down that road before. Sometimes I’m still tempted to pull on my driving gloves, throw caution to the wind, and drive on the positive side of the road, but then I remember what I already know, which is that negative thinking trumps positive thinking any day. Take it from a committed negative thinker: the positive road may look beautiful and tree-lined, but a little farther down it becomes a deadly serpentine of zigzags covered in slick black ice.

TED Yourself
    RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
    Ingredients:
    At least 1 idea or mission (good, viable, harebrained, or insane)
    1 cup conviction
    1 cup clarity of vision
    3 fantasies
    1 stage (real or imagined)
    Directions:
    Practice making your pitch in twenty words or less. Then expand to two minutes. Then indulge in twenty minutes. Even when you have mastered your pitch, be sure to check for accuracy by revisiting and revising regularly.
    If you’ve ever tried to pitch a concept—whether it’s for a movie, a TV show, an ad campaign, a book, a magazine article, or an innovative line of flea-repellent dog sweaters (and that list is not in order of importance)—you know that getting green-lighted depends largely on your ability to persuade. (That eggnog latte creamer pitch must have been off-the-charts persuasive, huh? See this page .)
    On the face of it, what makes something persuasive is hard to put your finger on. Sure, you know when you’ve seen or heard it, or have
been
persuaded, but most people think it’s like charisma: either you’ve got the capacity for it or you don’t. Or you might argue that how much money you’re asking to borrow or how much risk you’re asking your “audience” to take raises the stakes for persuasiveness (or changes them). But here’s what I know from winging my way through more than a couple of pitch meetings (except for the flea-repellent dog sweaters, I’ve pitched everything above multiple times): no matter the stakes, the interrelated qualities of a clear vision and your conviction in it will win almost anyone over.
    Clear vision involves both a well-articulated big-picture goal and a breakdown of the specific steps it’ll take to get there. Conviction means you have faith in your own