Stranger and Stranger by Rob Reger Page A

trail where you have to hug the cliff wall because there’s a sheer drop of hundreds of feet on one side. I know all the places where the trail seems to end, only because it’s blocked by a massive pile of boulders or trees or brush; and I know how to steer my way over or around or through every single obstacle. And as we hiked on and on, I forgot about being Mad at the World, and just enjoyed the hike.
    I guess I was enjoying myself so much, it kind of slipped my mind that anyone else was with me, so I was just as surprised as Patti was when we stopped for a sandwich at our favorite lookout point, and OtherMe was gone.
    Patti turned on her flashlight and swept the trail with it. No one was there.
    “She’s probably right behind us,” I said.
    Patti called for her as we walked back the way we had come, searching the sides of the trail with our flashlights. “I knew I should have brought at least one normal flashlight,” she complained. “This thing is useless.”
    “I thought she was right with us,” I said. “She’s probably planning to jump out and scare the cheeks off us.”
    Patti gave me a terrible look. We kept searching. Patti was calling, “EMILY!” I was calling, “OTHERME!” And the next thing I knew, we were back at the trailhead, and there was no OtherMe AnnoyingMe in sight.
    Patti was staring around wildly. I could tell she had about seven seconds of calm left before she lost it completely.
    “I’m sure she’s fine,” I said, but Patti was already calling Search and Rescue, and I knew as I said it that she wasn’t fine at all.
     
    Top 13 thoughts running through my head as we waited at the car for Search and Rescue to arrive:
Excellent! AnnoyingMe has disappeared! Can we go home now?
Craphounds! AnnoyingMe has disappeared! I need her for our prank!
AnnoyingMe is clearly getting back at me for that argument we had last night.
If AnnoyingMe ends up needing some kind of organ or limb transplant, there is no way I’m volunteering.
If AnnoyingMe turns up dead, I am gonna request that her organs and limbs be frozen in case I need them in the future.
If helicopters have to be called in for the search, can I ride in one?
If Patti has to pay for the helicopters, is it going to betaken out of my allowance?
I wonder what Raven’s doing right now.
I wonder if I crossed a banana tree with a toadflax, would its fruit still be tasty?
Is AnnoyingMe frightened, or is she enjoying herself?
Does she need a sandwich as badly as I do?
Would it be unforgivably after-school-special if I felt the tiniest bit concerned about her? What about if I didn’t?
How am I going to punish her for this?
    Search and Rescue finally arrived. I immediately nicknamed them Jock, Biff, Tip, and Winky. Insufferable crew-cut musclebound jerks. Clearly former high school football stars who were rejected by the military, police, and fire department for being sociopathic maniacs who desperately need to feel like heroes while bullying the emotionally vulnerable families of the missing.
     
    J OCK /B IFF /T IP /W INKY : So, what brings you out to Black Basin in the middle of the night, ma’am?
    P ATTI : I told you, we were hiking. Do you suppose we could chat later, after you’ve found my daughter?
    J/B/T/W: First things first…we need to ask a few questions to determine the best plan of attack. Now, could youexplain why you thought it would be a good idea to take your daughters on a midnight hike through one of the most treacherous areas in the state?
    P: Could YOU explain how that question is going to help you find her?
    J/B/T/W: No need to get huffy, ma’am. We’re the experts here, not you. Now, we noticed you have a taillight out on your car…Were you aware that’s a ticketable offense?
     
    I didn’t wait around to hear any more, just slipped away from the car and back to the trail. No one noticed me, and soon I was out of earshot. I concentrated on making my footsteps as silent as possible and focused my attention on my