Tell Him About It by Holly Kinsella

hurt almost manifested itself into a physical pain. The room seemed to spin and Sara curled up in a ball and clutched a pillow, as if to anchor her down.
    I hate him.
    Again her phone flashed up with a call from Simon – and she ignored it. If he wanted to talk to someone he could talk to her , his fun and friendly secretary.
    Sara finally reached over and took a sip of water. Her hand trembled as she did so.
    He’s dead to me.
    It was the one sin she couldn’t forgive. It was over, she determined. She felt like the past six months had been a waste, or a lie at the best. She wouldn’t fight for him. She could have him – and he would cheat on her accordingly.
    Tears streamed down her cheeks as Sara gently rocked upon the bed, clutching the pillow again – feeling dead to herself.
    All men are bastards.
     

 
    14.
     
    Tired, physically and emotionally, Sara eventually drifted off to sleep. When she woke her eyes were still puffy and she felt like someone had a cut a piece out of her. She mechanically replied to a few emails on her iPad but then picked up her phone, which seemed to now weigh as heavy as a brick in her hands. She listened to the voice messages from Simon.
    The first thing Sara noticed was that he seemed to be whispering – and the acoustics were strange. She realised that he must have retreated into the hotel bathroom and was talking quietly, to avoid Lisa from hearing him. The first message desperately – and unconvincingly – urged Sara not to get the wrong idea. He knew that Sara was on the other end of the line when Lisa picked up the phone and he was just playing a joke on her. He begged her to call him back immediately. During the second call, which followed shortly afterwards, Simon apologised. They had both got drunk the night before, celebrating a deal. “She means nothing to me.” Again he asked her to call him. “We need to talk. You shouldn’t throw the past six months away over just one night. This could make us stronger.” He argued that if she should had have cheated on him then he would have forgiven her. “What we have is too good... We need to be grown-ups about this...”
    Sara didn’t call Simon back. She did call Adam however and said that she would be unable to make the event this evening, a dinner and book signing organised by one of his fellow officers from his old regiment. Adam said he was disappointed that she couldn’t make it, but he would be fine flying solo. The main thing was for her to feel better. He asked if he could get anything for her from the pharmacist, but she said that it would hopefully just be a twenty-four hour thing. She just needed some rest – and to be left on her own.
    Adam had been sweet and understanding on the phone, but the last person she wanted to spend the evening with was another serial cheat, or “love rat”, as Rosie often termed it when she wrote an article for her local paper. How different was he really from Simon? Sara didn’t feel like putting on an outfit and make-up and smiling in the face of the world at the event tonight, which would be filled with (happy) couples having dinner together or soldiers trying to chat her up.
    Shortly afterwards Sara called Rosie and spent an hour or so talking – and crying – on the phone to her friend. Rosie tried – and to a small extent succeeded – to console her flatmate. Simon didn’t deserve her, Rosie posited. Sara was right to want to end things. It was better to find out now what he was like, rather than later. She couldn’t commit to him because deep down Sara knew he was more of a Wickham than Darcy – and that she didn’t love him. She was happy to collect any things belonging to Sara that Simon still had at his apartment. After talking to Rosie Sara switched on the TV and removed more than just a bottle of water from the mini-bar.
    *
    It was late by the time Adam got back to the hotel from the dinner. The event had gone well. He had caught up with various old friends