The Apartment by Debbie Macomber

with you, Sean,” she said quietly from behind him.
    He made a low, disbelieving sound as he turned to face her. His eyes were gentle, but one look told her he’d closed himself to her. Nothing she said now would make any difference.
    â€œHave you ever been in love before, Hil?”
    â€œYes. Once, in my freshman year. I’m not completely inexperienced, if that’s troubling you.”
    He gave a short, humorless laugh. “You’re very sweet and much too honest to lie effectively. If we hadn’t been interrupted just now, do you have any idea what would have happened?”
    â€œOf course I do,” she answered indignantly. “We would have made love, which is exactly what I hoped would happen.”
    His eyes grew dark and intense, as though the thought troubled him. “It would have been a mistake.”
    â€œI refuse to believe that. Loving you isn’t a mistake…you’ll never convince me of that. I know you’re this macho guy, and it’s probably much harder for you to admit your feelings for me, but—”
    â€œHil, listen,” he said, breaking into her tirade. His voice was calm and reasonable and left little room for argument. “Do you have any idea what would have happened afterward? We’d go on making love, entwining our lives more and more.”
    â€œIs that so wrong?”
    â€œYes, for you it is, and for me, too.”
    â€œBut why?” She was becoming agitated now and more desperate.
    â€œYou’re on your own for the first time. We wouldn’t be able to go back. It’s inevitable that we’d become more and more involved. Before we could prevent it, neither one of us would have a life of our own.”
    Hilary didn’t know what to say.
    â€œI’ve spent the last ten years of my life in the army,” Sean continued, “and I’m not looking to make another commitment. That’s not what you want, either. If we share anything, Hil, it’s that we’re both completely on our own for the first time in our lives. We can’t trust what we’re feeling. It’s much too soon to know if it’s real.”
    Part of what he said made sense. This was her first time away from her mother, the first time she was completely self-sufficient, the first time she’d held a real job. She’d set out to prove something to herself and, more important, to her mother. She’d done that. Or, at least, she wanted to believe she had.
    As for what he said about her not being able to trust her love for him, she did so implicitly. Perhaps she was more naive than she realized, because she did love Sean, without question, without a single second thought. It was true she hadn’t planned on falling in love so soon, but it had happened, and she was thrilled even if he wasn’t.
    If Sean wanted to debate with her, then she had a long list of arguments why their being together was right. But she couldn’t speak for Sean. If he loved her, the way she believed, then he’d discover that on his own. If he wanted her in his life, then he’d ask. She’d done everything she knew how to do. She wouldn’t make the mistake of pressuring him, or manipulating him the way her mother had tried with her. She’d been on the receiving end of such treatment and had rebelled. If she was going to win Sean’s love, then there was little she could say or do until he was ready.
    â€œAll right,” she said, slowly, thoughtfully, fighting back her doubts. For the first time she could appreciate how difficult it had been for her mother to let her go, to release her.
    â€œWhere do you suggest we go from here?” she asked when she could.
    â€œNowhere,” he said flatly.
    His words took her by surprise. They made no sense, and she wasn’t sure his suggestion was emotionally healthy, either. “In other words, you’re suggesting we forget what’s between