The Autobiography of Sherlock Holmes by Sherlock Holmes, Don Libey

considering the data surrounding the supposedly curious behaviour of Lady Beatrice Falder. My own preferences favoured only Sir Robert’s imminent bankruptcy as the motive for his deceitful actions. However, it was Watson who reasoned the importance of the crypt and Lady Beatrice’s devoted dog and returned to that point several times, finally suggesting to me that Lady Beatrice may have died and been placed secretly in the crypt. Once again, it was Watson’s insight that gave me the final piece of data necessary to order the logic and complete the deductions needed to solve the Shoscombe Old Place case. As true as the unvarying constellation he was, Watson wrote of the adventure in a way that once more positioned me as the pole star of the solution when, in truth, I can only accept partial credit.
    Perhaps the greatest of Watson’s intentional masquerades, however, is found in his writing of the case he called The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier . It is a manuscript ostensibly written under my own hand in response to Watson’s retort, ‘Try it yourself, Holmes’ when I admonished him for his pandering to popular taste in his writing rather than confining himself rigidly to facts. In the long opening paragraph, I devote myself to a somewhat ungracious satirical account of Watson’s ‘remarkable characteristics’ and demean his mind as a perpetual closed book. The quality of the writing is not up to that of Watson and my oft-repeated demand for a scientific archival approach to the cases and not a sensationalist spectacle is never achieved in the manuscript. And this is Watson’s finest moment, his greatest score on me for all of my years of criticisms of his abilities, for the story was not written by me. It was written by Watson in my persona and its faux failure to achieve my own standards for writing is, singularly, Watson’s finest moment. In recent years, with the modest success of Watson’s books, quite a number of people from all levels of society—waiters, tradesmen, country squires, nobles, even monarchs—say to me, ‘Your writing talents are superb, Mr Holmes’ and ‘You should really write more of your adventures, Mr Holmes’ or ‘I do believe you missed out on a marvellous career as a writer, Mr Holmes.’ The only thing I can say is, ‘Thank you; I am sure you are overly kind’ and, whenever I have done, I hear a soft, quiet laugh coming from Watson’s favourite chair next the fireplace. Good old Watson.

17
    While I never wrote of my cases or career, I did, in 1925, complete the great work of my life: The Science of Deduction and Detection . The book is scheduled by the publisher to be introduced in mid-1930 to coincide with the celebration of the centenary of Scotland Yard. The work is in five volumes, each having three-hundred fifty pages. It was written over a period of eighteen years and is held as the authoritative treatment of the subject. The publisher is G. P. Putnam’s Sons of London. I am confident of the work standing on its own and, doubtless, it may eclipse my apparent wide celebrity owing to the many sensationalist stories of Watson.
    Other, specific works were completed and published throughout my career, and included:
 
Upon the Distinction Between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos;
     
Upon the Polyphonic Motets of Lassus;
     
Upon the Characteristics of Ears: Attachment and Structural Differences;
     
Upon the Characteristics of Ears: Lobuli Auricularum;
     
Upon the Subject of Secret Writings: An Analysis of One-Hundred-Sixty Ciphers;
     
Upon the Dating of Documents;
     
Upon Tattoos: Designs, Pigments and Methodologies;
     
Upon the Tracing of Footsteps: Shod;
     
Upon the Tracing of Footsteps: Unshod;
     
Upon the Influence of Trade upon Deformities of the Hand;
     
Upon Chaldean Roots of the Cornish Language;
     
Upon the Decomposition of Human Tissues.
    All of the monographs except for that concerning Lassus were translated into French by François le Villard and