The Barrytown Trilogy by Roddy Doyle Page A

Lips and Dean: — TRUP —
    Deco and The Commitmentettes: —AND—
    I — THANK — YOU——
—YEH DIDN’T HAVE TO SQUEEZE ME —
    The girls squeezed themselves.
    —Get up! someone roared.
    —LIKE YEH DID BUT YEH DID BUT YEH DID —
    The horns: — TRUP —
    —AND —
I — THANK — YOU
    A small hand grabbed Bernie’s shoe. She stepped on it and turned.
    —AAAH! ——Oh mammy! ———yeh cunt, yeh. —Jaysis!
    —EVERYDAY —
    THERE’S SOMETHIN’ NEW——
        YEH PULL OU’ YOUR BAG AN’ YOUR BATH IS DUE —
    Imelda sniffed under her arm. Someone whistled.
    —YEH GOT ME TRYIN’ —
    NEW THANGS TOO —
    JUST —
    SO —
    I—
    CAN KEEP UP WITH YOU ——
    YEH DIDN’T HAVE TO SHAKE IT —
    The Commitmentettes shook it.
    —LIKE YEH DID BUT YEH DID BUT YEH DID —
    The horns: — TRUP —
    —AND —
I — THANK — YOU ——
    YEH DIDN’T HAVE TO MAKE IT —
    A mike screeched.
    —Sorry ’bou’ tha’, they heard Jimmy shout. —My fault. ——Won’t happen again.
    It did though.
    So far Outspan hadn’t played a chord. He stood looking at the boards, stiff. Deco was prancing up and down (he was used to his suit by now) and Joey The Lips and Dean had been forced back, up against the drums. Natalie’s shoes were digging into her. Bernie’s hair was coming down.
    But they were getting away with it. The thirty-three and Mickah were enjoying the show. They were also expecting Deco to fall off the stage any time now.
    So they didn’t need Mickah’s prompting when I Thank You ended.
    —Clap. Go on. ——Clap.
    They were clapping already. Mrs Foster was out of her seat. She hadn’t noticed that her son hadn’t done anything yet.
    —Hello, Barrytown, said Deco.
    —Hello, Deco!
    Deco rubbed his arm across his forehead.
    —I hope yis like me group, said Deco.
    Those watching the other Commitments saw them stiffening, and Billy making a rude gesture at Deco’s back with one of his sticks.
    —This one’s called Chain Gang.
    —HUH ——————
    —HAH ——————
    HUH ——————
    HAH ——————
    Outspan turned so that he was looking away from hismother. That helped. He began to play, the same chord, but it was a start.
    Derek sang.
    —WELL DON’T YEH KNOW —
    Deco stepped in front of him.
    Deco: — THAT’S THE SOUND O’ THE MEN —
    WORKIN’ ON THE CHAIN——
GA—EE—ANG——
    They were dancing. The audience was dancing, a lot of them, little mods and modettes, shaking, turning in time together, folding their arms, turning, folding their arms, turning. Mickah tried to stop them.
    —Just listen, righ’.
    But this was their kind of music. Jimmy saw Outspan’s mother dancing with them. Mickah had to leave them alone.
    Two heavy metallers were leaning against the wall at the side. Mickah went over to them.
    —Get dancin’, youse.
    They started to head-bang.
    —Not like tha’.
    Mickah stopped them.
    —Like them over there.
    Back on-stage, an accident was going to happen. It was James’ solo and Deco was killing time, swinging the mike over his head. The mike was rising to his right and swooping to his left. It swooped into the back of Bernie’s head. She was sent flying forward and she had to jump off the stage.
    The Commitments stopped.
    There were disappointed Aahs from the crowd and then clapping, Mickah inspired.
    Joey The Lips jumped off the stage. There were cheers. Jimmy was down there too, helping them find the heel that had broken off Bernie’s shoe. The search kept her mind off the pain at the back of her head.
    On-stage, Deco was being given out to.
    —Yeh stupid cunt, yeh.
    Imelda kicked out at him, and connected. Billy threw a stick at him. It hit his shoulder.
    —Yeh were told not to do tha’, said Derek.
    —I forgot.
    —Another thing, said Billy. —It’s not YOUR fuckin’ group.
    —Okay okay, said Deco.
    He stood at the edge of the stage. Outspan was looking mean.
    —I’m sorry, I’m sorry, righ’.
    Bernie came back. She