The Barrytown Trilogy by Roddy Doyle Page B

left her shoes and heel in Jimmy’s hands. Imelda and Natalie took their shoes off.
    —Good girls, Sisters, said Joey The Lips.
    He stopped on his way past Deco.
    —You apologize very, very nicely to Bernadette or you get my trumpet up your ass.
    Deco couldn’t believe this. This little baldy fuck was threatening him.
    —Move! Joey The Lips roared.
    Deco hopped to it.
    —Listen, Bernie. ——Sorry, righ’. ———Really.
    —Yeah. ———Well, said Bernie.
    —Wha’ Bernie’s tryin’ to say, said Imelda,—is tha’ you’re a stupid bollix.
    Mickah was singing from behind the crowd.
    —WHY ARE WE —
WAI —
      TIN’——
    —Okay, said Deco into the mike. —Thanks a lot. Tha’ one was dedicated to the lads in jail. Mountjoy an’ tha’, who’re in for drugs ——like ——because it must be like a chain gang for them. ———We hope they get better an’ ——because, like the banner says, Heroin Kills.
    —So do you.
    —Who said tha’? ——Come here, you.
    They watched Mickah picking up a child and carrying him to the door.
    —It’s not spelt righ’, a boy took advantage of Mickah’s absence.
    —Fuck off, Smartarse, said Deco. —An’annyway, if you’re ever tryin’ to give up the drugs yeh can always reach ou’.
    Nothing happened.
    —Billy.
    —Wha’?
    —Reach Ou’.
    —Oh yeah!
    —THU — CUDADUNG CUDADUNG CUDADUNG
    —THU — CUDADUNG CUDADUNG CUDADUNG
    Outspan was happier now. Derek had his eyes closed. Dean wiped his face with his hankie. A drum fell over. Billy kept going.
    ———JUST LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER, Deco yelled.
    The Commitmentettes looked over their shoulders.
    —THU — CUDADUNG CUDADUNG CUDADUNG
    —THU — CUDADUNG CUDADUNG CUDADUNG —
    —I’LL——
BE THERE——
   TO LOVE AN’CHERISH —
     YOU —
         HOU —
            OU —
    I’LL——
BE THERE——
    WITH A LOVE THA’ IS SO —
TRUE —
   HUE —
      UE——
    Derek jumped as he thumped at the string and he walked backwards into the piano. James found his fingers on the wrong keys. The piano had moved, bashed into the backdrop, the operetta society’s South Pacific scenery (last year’s Soundof Music scenery with a very yellow palm tree painted onto one of the hills).
    The song was over. The audience didn’t know this until Mickah told them to clap.
    The caretaker assessed the damage.
    —No harm done. ——It’s a crummy bloody thing annyway. A spa could paint better than tha’, he told Jimmy as the two of them got off the stage.
    —How yis doin’ ou’ there? Deco asked his audience.
    —Very well, thanks, said Mrs Foster.
    —Okay, said Deco. —This one’s for the lads in CIE.
    —What’s he on abou’? Billy asked James.
    He was putting the drum back.
    —I just do not know, said James.
    —ALL ABOARD, said Deco. —THE NIGHT TRAIN.
    The little mods and modettes knew this one. They cheered. They formed a train as The Commitments got going. Joey The Lips and Dean pointed their horns at the lighting. Derek and Outspan shuffled in time together. Deco chugged up and down the front of the stage. The girls went off-stage to have a look at Bernie’s shoe. Billy lobbed a stick into the crowd.
    No one caught it because everyone was part of the train, Mickah the caboose, going round and round the centre of the hall.
    —OH YEAH, Deco started.
OH YEAH——
    He swung his arms.
    —MIAMI FLORIDA——
ATLANTA GEORGIA——
RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA—
WASHIN’TON D.C.——
    He went off the tracks for a second.
    —SOMEWHERE THE FUCK IN WEST VIRGINIA——
BALTIMORE MARYLAND——
PHILADELPH — EYE — AY ——
NEW YORK CITY —
HEADIN’ HOME ——
    BOSTON MASSACHU — MASSATUST — YEH KNOW YOURSELF——
    AN’ DON’T FORGET NEW ORLEANS THE HOME O’ THE BLUES ——
    OH YEAH ——
    THE NIGH’ TRAIN ——
    THE NIGH’ TRAIN ——
    COME ON NOW —
    THE NIGH’ TRAIN——
    THE NIGH’ TRAIN ——
    NIGH’ TRAIN