The Best of Archy and Mehitabel by Don Marquis Page A

further question as
    to what is up and what is down
    producing considerable dissension all the
    spiders claim they are higher in
    the scale than the cockroaches and that
    lazy cat mehitabel looks on superciliously
    as if confident that she has it on
    all of us spiritually speaking
    well all i have to say is that in
    my case a soul got out of a vers libre
    bard into a cockroach but i have
    known cases which are exactly the
    reverse if you get what i mean
    not that i would name any names
    archy

short course in natural history
    you should be glad
    you re not a tomcat
    for when all is said
    and done
    you know youd hate
    to pay insurance
    on nine lives instead of one
    be glad you re not
    a centipede
    you might your whole
    ambition lose
    if you had to find
    the cash
    to keep a centipede
    in shoes
    be glad you re not
    a devilfish
    if you had four pairs
    of feet
    what a trail
    you d leave behind you
    when you staggered
    with the heat
    archy

archy protests
    well boss now youve got
    your desk all cleaned up for the
    first time since ive known you what
    am i going to do for
    a safe retreat in times of dire
    need formerly i could crawl under a
    bushel of poems and mehitabel the
    cat could not find me this
    room is as bare as the inside of
    a drum you might at
    least have left me a tobacco can i
    feel as visible as a hyphen and not
    half so sure of myself
    archy

mehitabel sees it through
    dear boss i met mehitabel
    last night and asked her if
    she did not think times were getting
    a little better
    she was digging for sustenance in a trash heap
    at the moment and she looked as if
    she might be a part of the heap herself
    one of her legs has been damaged again
    in a light with a rival in love
    but she began to caper when i spoke to her
    and replied as follows
    good times and bad times
    recoveries and depressions
    wotthehell do i care
    as long as somethings doing
    when i lived on salmon
    and oysters stewed in cream
    i wasnt always happy
    when i dug my scoffins
    out of frozen garbage heaps
    i wasnt always sad
    economic problems
    never tell the story
    as far as im concerned
    once i lived a fortnight
    on moonlight wind and grass
    and i danced every evening
    with the shadows in the alley
    and entertained my boy friends
    with my melodious songs
    wotthehell do i care
    if the stomachs empty
    when the spirits full
    i have had my ups
    and i have had my downs
    but whether i was up
    or whether i was down
    there was something in my blood
    that always set it dancing
    and when the blood was jigging
    the feet began to caper
    some day i will voyage
    on top a garbage scow
    just a stiff dead feline
    wreathed in orange peel and melon rinds
    with shop worn salad garnished
    down the bay theyll take me
    to the dumping grounds
    defunct as ancient nut shells
    but wotthehell do i care
    that day has not arrived
    and good times or bad times
    hard times or easy
    there are three good feet
    on old mehitabel
    and she will keep them jigging
    till the grim reaper slices
    two more of them off

    boss i think mehitabel is mistaken about the milky way
    and then she ll dance on one
    till its frozen and resigns
    and then her soul will caper
    along the milky way
    theres a dance or two in the old dame yet
    and the word is toujours gai
    boss i think mehitabel is mistaken
    about the milky way
    i think she is more like to dance
    on hot cinders in the hereafter
    archy

mehitabel meets her mate
    tis the right of a modern tabby to choose
    the cats who shall father her kits
    and its nice to be sure their pasts have been pure
    and theyre free from fleas or fits
    trial marriage i tried till i thoroughly tired
    and i suffered somewhat from abduction
    and my heart it was broken again and again
    but twas excellent instruction
    i always have been rather awesomely blest
    with the instincts of a mother
    and my life and my fate have been down to date
    one kitten after another
    triplets quadruplets quintuplets
    in a most confusing succession
    and it seems to keep up whether times are good
    or