The Best of Archy and Mehitabel by Don Marquis

absurdity of the
    conventional schools you had the
    makings of a great painter in
    you what do you call this
    picture tommy
    well said tommy with rare
    presence of mind i have not
    named it yet it is not altogether in
    the newer mode you will observe i
    have been struggling for a
    compromise between the two methods
    that would at the same time
    allow me to express my
    individuality on canvas i do
    think myself that i have got more
    freshness and directness into this
    thing you have said his friend
    it has the direct and naive approach
    of the primitives and it
    also has all that is
    worthy to be retained of the
    reticent sophistication of
    the post pre raphaelites but what
    do you say you are going to
    call it it is said tommy as
    you see a nocturne i have
    been thinking of calling it
    impressions of brooklyn
    bridge in a fog and when his
    friend went out he stood and looked at
    the picture for a long time and
    said now i wonder who in
    hell slipped in here and did that it
    is nothing short of genius could
    i have done it myself when i
    was drunk i must have done so
    anyhow i will sign it and
    taking up a brush he did so well i
    stole a look at the canvas
    myself and it looked like nothing
    on earth to me but a canvas over
    which a lot of cockroaches had
    walked i may be a
    critic but still i know what i
    dont like yours for another
    renaissance of the arts every
    spring and every autumn
    archy

destiny
    well boss here i
    am a cockroach still boss
    i have often been disgusted
    with life but now i am
    even more disgusted
    with death and transmigration i
    would rather not inhabit
    any body at all than
    inhabit a cockroachs
    body but it seems i
    cant escape it that
    is my destiny my doom my
    punishment
    when you struck me that
    terrific blow a few
    days ago and i
    died there at
    your feet my first
    sensation was one of glad
    relief what body will
    the soul of archy transmigrate
    into now i asked
    myself will i go
    higher in the scale of
    life and inhabit the
    body of a butterfly
    or a dog or a
    bird or will i sink
    lower and go into the
    carcase of a poison
    spider or a politician
    i sat on a blade of
    grass and waited and wondered
    what it would be i
    hoped it wouldnt be
    anything at all too soon
    because if you remember
    it was a hot
    day and as i sat
    on that blade of grass
    in my naked soul and
    let my feet hang over i
    was deliciously
    cool try it some of
    these hot nights leave
    your body in the
    bed and go up on the
    roof in your
    spirit and float around
    like a toy balloon its
    great stuff well while
    i was sitting there
    thinking what i
    would inhabit next if
    it was up to me
    personally i had
    a swooning sensation
    and when i came
    to i was in the
    flesh again dad gum
    it i lifted first
    one leg and then
    another to see what i
    was this time and
    imagine my chagrin and
    disappointment when i
    found myself inside
    another cockroach the
    exact counterpart of the
    one you smashed whats
    the use of dying if
    it dont get you
    anywhere i was so
    sore i went and
    murdered a tumblebug i
    suppose as a cockroach
    i was not good enough
    to be promoted
    and not bad enough to
    be set back boss a
    thing like that makes a
    fellow feel awful humble i
    came back to town in
    that special delivery letter i
    would rather dodge
    the thing
    they cancel stamps with
    all day than walk again
    say boss
    please thank my friends
    for all the kind
    words and flowers i
    must close in haste there
    is a new rat
    in your office since i
    was here last i
    wish you would sprinkle a
    little cereal in the
    bottom of the waste paper
    basket
    archy

a discussion
    there is a good deal
    of metaphysical discussion going on
    amongst my own little group here
    i said freddy the rat was no
    more he expired at the moment he
    slew that tarantula well he had
    once been a human and had
    transmigrated into a rat just
    as i had transmigrated into a
    cockroach the question now
    is where will freddy turn up next will
    he go up or down the scale and
    that has led to the