The Blazing World and Other Writings (Penguin Classics) by Margaret Cavendish Page A

Lady; which, when she had read, and found from whom it came, her passions were so mixed, that she knew not whether to joy or grieve; she joyed to live in his thoughts, yet grieved to live without him, having no hopes to make him lawfully hers, nor so much as to see or speak to him, her uncle was so averse against him; and the greatest grief was, to think she must be forced to become another’s, when she had rather be his, though forsaken, than by another to be beloved with constancy. Then musing with herself for some time, considering whether it was fit to answer his letter, or no; if my uncle should come to know, said she, I write to him without his leave (which leave I am sure he will never give) I shall utterly lose his affection, and I had rather lose life than lose his love; and if I do not write, I shall seem as if I were of a malicious nature, which will beget an evil construction of my disposition, in that mind I desire to live [in] with a good opinion. And if I believe, as charity and love persuades me, that he speaks truth, I shall endanger his life; and I would be loath to murder him with nice scruples, when I am neither forbade by honour nor modesty, religion nor laws[.] Well, I will adventure, and ask my uncle pardon when I have done; my uncle is not of a tiger’s nature, he is gentle and will forgive, and a pardon may be gotten: but life, when once it is gone, will return no more. Then taking pen, ink, and paper, [she] writ to him after this manner.
    Sir,
    I am obedient, as being once tied to you, until you did cut me off, and throw me away as a worthless piece, only fit to be trodden under the feet of disgrace, and certainly had perished with shame; had not my uncleowned me, I had been left destitute. And though you are pleased to cast some thoughts back upon me, yet is difficult for me to believe, you, that did once scorn me, should humbly come to sue to me: but I rather fear you do this for sport, angling with the bait of deceit to catch my innocent youth. But I am not the first of my sex, nor I fear shall not be the last, that has been, and will be deceived by men, who glory in their treacherous spoils; and if you beset me with stratagems, kill me outright, and [do] not lead me prisoner, to set out your triumph: but if you have wars with your conscience, or fancy, or both, interrupting the peace of your mind, as your letter expresses, I should willingly return to your side, and be an arbitrator; yet the fates have destined it otherwise. But what unhappy fortune soever befalls me, I wish yours may be good. Heavens keep you.
    Here, said she, give the man, that brought me the letter, this. The man returning to his lord so soon, made him believe he had not delivered her that letter.
    Well, said the Duke, you have not delivered my letter.
    Yet, but I have, said he, and brought you an answer.
    Why, said the Duke, it is impossible, you stayed so short a time.
    Then, said he, I have wrought a miracle; but, said he, you did lengthen my journey in your conceits, with the foul ways of difficulties.
    I hope, said the Duke, thou art so blessed as to make as prosperous a journey, as a quick despatch; leave me awhile, said he while 9 I call you. But when he went to open the letter, time brings not more weakness, said he, than fear doth to me, for my hands shake as if I had the palsy; and my eyes are so dim, that spectacles will hardly enlarge my sight. But when he had read the letter, joy gave him a new life: here, said he, she plainly tells me, she would be mine; she saith, she would return to my side, if the fates had not destined against it, by which she means, her uncle is against me; well, if I can but once get access, I shall be happy forever. So after he had blessed himself in reading the letter many times over, I will, said he, strengthen myself to enable myself to go abroad, for as yet I am but weak; and calling to his man, he bid him get him something to eat.
    Did your Grace, said the man, talk of eating?
    Yes,