The Book of Even More Awesome

The Book of Even More Awesome by Neil Pasricha Page B

Book: The Book of Even More Awesome by Neil Pasricha Read Free Book Online
Authors: Neil Pasricha
the stadium. Pops balances the big screen in the pickup truck while Junior lays a rug down by the barbecue. It’s time for grilling.
    3. Backyard Birthday. Wobbly folding chair legs sink into the grass while basement card tables are wiped off and covered in plastic tablecloths for their annual cameo as Punch Bowl Station or Place We’re Cutting The Cake Later.
    When you move indoor furniture outdoors you’re spreading the party all over the place. Chill out, relax, and put your feet up on the cooler, because it’s sunny out and it’s time to enjoy the moment.
    AWESOME!

When your fries order has a few onion rings stashed in the mix
    Dive in.
    Scoring some sweet and salty rings hidden in your fries is the fast-food equivalent of finding a treasure chest at the bottom of the sea. Suddenly you’re an explorer stumbling upon a lost shipwreck way, way down in the darkness. While your friends linger above, you plunge deeper and deeper . . . eventually spotting a coral-covered chest wedged between some slippery rocks.
    As your heart thump-thumps you kick the rusty lock and peel open the lid to behold a glittery sight . Your face turns on like a flashlight and your eyes pop open behind the scuba mask as you realize you’ve uncovered a hidden stash of crunchy, oily gold .
    There be treasure in these fries.
    AWESOME!

The Big Night Nap
    The Big Night Nap or Disco Nap is any nap you take before going out for a big night.
    When you nail this warm-up nap perfectly, you end up with a long memorable evening without dog yawns, wristwatch glances , and early cave-ins.
    Now, that doesn’t mean Big Night Naps are easy to pull off. No, no, the truth is you gotta be careful in that lateafternoon Napping Danger Zone :
    1. The Power Nap. Top of the charts. This is the perfectly executed twenty-minute power up that fills your energy bar and gets you ready to take on the world.
    2. The Call-Waiting Nap. Your plans aren’t firmed up so you leave your cell phone beside you. This forces you to pop up to answer text messages and take groggy phone calls.
    3. The Choreographed Nap. This is where you convince all your friends to take a Big Night Nap too. You know them well and realize they’ll zonk out early if they’re not in the game. Do like Parker Lewis and synchronize watches.
    4. The Neverending Nap. Whoops! You were gonna do a quick snooze but your body had other plans. You groggily kick off your socks as your phone buzzes on your dresser. You’re going straight to morning now. Expect a 4 a.m. wake-up call.
    5. The Extend-O-Night Nap. You head out to someone’s house without napping but start losing steam as everyone else is revving up. So you head upstairs and take a quick power snooze on the bed full of jackets. You don’t have to be eight years old to pull this move off. You’ll be back in the game in no time.
    So ... save ’em for New Year’s, save ’em for slumber parties, save ’em for nights you need extra juice. Yes, when you go down early to get down late it’s a beautiful moment of party planning that we like to call
    AWESOME!

Hilarious last-minute Halloween costumes
    Back at college, I remember walking up to my friend Mike’s house on Halloween and seeing him frantically painting bright red briefs onto a pair of nice blue jeans. He was really going at it, too—slapping the wet brush all over the crotch and pockets, wagging his tongue out like a dog on the front lawn.
    Of course, an hour later he showed up to the party as Superman. And though he didn’t leap any tall buildings in a single bound, he did manage to drink most of the punch bowl faster than a speeding bullet.
    More important, his last-minute Halloween costume got us all laughing. The best ones do that:
    â€¢ Professional Baseball Player . This is where you dig through your closet and peel out that old sweatsmelling jersey and orange foam hat from Little League. Throw on your baseball

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