The Book of Even More Awesome by Neil Pasricha

in the face with a dusty old Polaroid camera.
    After the picture slides out and the color fades in he staples it to a foam board in his front hallway. Over time he’s created a giant collage presumably titled “Anybody Who’s Ever Visited Me” and turned a blank white wall into an artsy conversation piece.
    When some friends and I crashed with Rob a year ago, he promptly flash-bulbed us in the face a couple times. He handed me the extra pic while sticking the first on the wall and I stuffed it in my bags and forgot about it ... forgot about it, that is, until months later I noticed a tiny white corner sticking out of my suitcase and rediscovered the blurry photo inside a brand new secret pocket!
    Finding hidden compartments in things you already own is like striking oil in your own backyard.
    After all, you’ve known your old pal Backpack forever. You know her zipper’s gummed up and you’ve watched with teary eyes as her stitching slowly ripped off her left strap. So when you notice a secret built-in pencil case pouch deep down in her inner shadows, it’s a mind-blowing moment. Suddenly she’s got a whole new strut in her step and trot in her walk, like she popped back out of backpack rehab.
    Same thing with Bathing Suit . Sure, his zip-string is loose and dangly, he’s covered in lint balls, and his bright red logo has faded to a dull pink, but when you first notice that tiny mesh pocket for holding keys hanging inside his elastic waistband, your brain blasts to outer space. He’s like a hunched-over old man suddenly tossing away his cane and tap-dancing across the sidewalk.
    So today let’s give thanks and give cheers to the surprise sunglasses holder in the roof of your car, that second pocket in your navy blue blazer, and the hidden change holder riding like a treasure chest deep down in your car’s armrest.
    AWESOME!

Getting your guests to help you move something really heavy
    Hey, thanks for coming over. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, uh, don’t take off your shoes for a second. Listen, I’ve got this desk, and I sorta really need to get it out to the garage. Could you, I mean, it’ll only take a second.
    (Bambi eyes)
    AWESOME!

When the plane suddenly speeds up on the runway
    Because here we go ...
    AWESOME!

The sound of barely frozen puddles cracking when you step on them

    Crisp breezes chip at your cheeks as you shiver and slide to school. Blades of grass are stiff with frosted dew on their tips, your breath puffs in cold clouds in front of you, and little puddles on the sidewalk get that thin film of ice across the tops, just waiting for you to do what you gotta do.
    When you’re slip-shuffling half asleep, buried under your backpack, there’s just something sweet about stomping those frozen puddles and filling the still and silent walk with a nice crisp CRACK .
    After you do the deed, you trudge on against the biting wind with an extra spring in your step and twinkle in your eye , because you came across the frozen puddle first and you busted it good .
    Let’s face it: That crack is so permanent, so satisfying , and so completely
    AWESOME!

When someone compliments your new haircut
    Haircuts are stressful.
    Come on, there are at least Three Major Worries when you get your lid trimmed:
    1. Disappearing Choppers . Have you ever gone to your regular place and found your go-to guy suddenly missing? Talk about a bombshell. On top of the loss, the gang left over is usually tight-lipped on details too. No forwarding address, no new business cards, nothing. They just vanished and left only a few combs floating in the Barbicide for clues. Now it’s time to step into the chair with The New Guy and grit your teeth, grab the handlebars, and brace yourself for a rickety journey down a dark mine shaft tunnel of horror. As the lights dim and you close your eyes, you can hear the electric razor firing up in the distance ...
    2. Doing a New Do . Asking