The Book of Everything by Guus Kuijer Page B

Mrs. van Amersfoort tartly. “Will you take the gramophone inside, Thomas?”
    They walked into the room in single file. There was a chattering and a cackling like nothing on earth. Aunt Bea and Aunt Magda and Aunt Pie and Mrs. van Amersfoort and Margot and Eliza and the four old ladies all talked at once and nobody could understand a word. But everybody was having a great time.
    â€œOh!” Mrs. van Amersfoort cried suddenly. “We nearly forgot about you!”
    Father stood pressed against the sideboard, because there was almost no room behind Aunt Magda’s bottom. Mrs. van Amersfoort tried to shake his hand around Aunt Magda.
    â€œCan you reach?” Aunt Magda asked. She bent forward, sticking out her bottom.
    Now Mrs. van Amersfoort could get hold of his hand over Aunt Magda’s shoulder. “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?” she said. She let go of Father’s hand and called, “Can we have a window open?”
    â€œGood idea,” Eliza called back. She jumped up smartly onher leather leg and pushed the window up. A fresh breeze blew into the house.
    And then Mother appeared in the doorway. Because the window and the front door were both wide open, her dress flapped like a flag. “Hello, everybody,” she said. Everyone looked at her and the chattering died down. Her dress was pale yellow, almost white, and narrow at the top, with a wide skirt. She had carefully put on lipstick. Her hair hung down loose over her shoulders.
    Thomas had never seen her so beautiful. He looked at Father, to see if he’d noticed. Father did notice. His face became as red as the flowers on Aunt Magda’s dress.
    â€œHas everyone got coffee?” asked Mother.
    Then the chattering broke out again. Thomas could not imagine there ever being silence again in the reading-aloud club.

T hey had all finished their cakes. Coffee cups and lemonade glasses were empty. Aunt Bea treated Father to a cigar and lit one herself. And then the great moment arrived.
    The program began.
    Item one: Thomas Klopper recites a poem by Annie M. G. Schmidt.
    Thomas stood up. He started with Master Sweet who washed his feet in the aquarium. He knew the whole poem by heart.
    When he had finished, there was loud applause.
    The old lady with the teeth asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up, Thomas?”
    And Thomas said, “Happy. I want to be happy.”
    Everyone thought that was a good idea.
    But then, suddenly, Father said, “Give a proper answer, Thomas. What do you want to be when you grow up?”
    â€œI wanted to be happy, and nothing else,” Thomas wrote in The Book of Everything . “I searched my brain for a proper answer, but I didn’t find anything.”
    â€œOnly good-for-nothings and weaklings are happy,” said Father. “Life is a struggle.”
    All the aunts and all Mrs. van Amersfoort’s friends stared at him as if he had farted. And Mother nervously twisted a strand of her hair.
    Thomas sat down and looked at his shoes. Eliza put her good hand over his.
    â€œHave you faced many struggles in your life?” the lady with the teeth asked Father. “Were you in the Resistance? Are you a brave man? Do you protect your wife and children against the evil world? Do you stand up for the weak? Are animals in good hands with you?”
    Bewildered, Father stared at her teeth. “Well …” he began.
    â€œItem two on the program,” called Mrs. van Amersfoort. “Music from the portable gramophone.”
    She turned the handle. “One of Eliza’s records,” she announced.
    Music rushed into the room such as Thomas had never heard. A whole lot of instruments were hooting all at once and there was a banging of drums. At first he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. But then a bright trumpet gained the upper hand over the others. The trumpet sang and giggled like a skipping angel. It was hard to keep your legs