perfectly over hers. She relaxed and let him take the lead, enjoying the feel of him. Though waning, the sandalwood scent of his aftershave still invited her closer. He slowly pulled back, but she wanted more. She followed his mouth and pressed her moistened lips to his and, to keep him from retreating more, her hand caressed his jaw and neck. His ear was warm and she finally got to test the stubble on his cheek. She didn’t detect any resistance from him when she kissed him again.
She loved the sounds they made when their lips parted to kiss again and again. He kissed her lower lip, and tugged on it, and sleepy sensations tugged in other areas of her body. His hand found her back and he drew her closer. They breathed over each other; she sighed, and kissed him harder. He deepened the kiss, making it moist and silky. Their tongues met and a tiny sound escaped her throat. He must have liked it. His hand kneaded her back as their tongues continued to test and explore. Her fingers splayed into his hair. It was thick and newly trimmed across his neck. She wanted more kisses and planted several of herown as a sensual awareness started to throb deep within her.
And then he ended it. He abruptly dropped his hand and backed away from her mouth. A complicated expression shadowed his face. Was he appalled by what they’d done, or just not into her?
All she knew was that she missed his warmth. She missed how his barriers had tumbled down as they’d kissed, and how he’d pulled her tight, inviting her to know him a little deeper with each kiss.
But it was over now. He was back to staring out the car windshield, and she felt obligated to say something. She didn’t want to make a single comment about the kisses, preferring to hoard them rather than allow him to steal them back with an apology or an excuse. They were real and they’d felt wonderful. One second he’d been warm and inviting, the next his lips had turned to marble and he’d disappeared.
The kiss probably didn’t mean a thing to him. It was just a bit of extra-curricular activity on his part, and she’d taken it too seriously. It served her right for breaking her own rule about getting involved with a man again. How easily Jason had persuaded her to reconsider that vow.
Claire reached for the door handle and opened the door. “Thank you for dinner, Jason. I really enjoyed myself.” Even after scolding herself, she still hoped he’d hear the double message. How messed up was that?
He turned slowly to face her. Night shadows slanted across his jaw, making it hard for her to read his expression. “You’re welcome,” was all he said, with a distant stare.
Jason watched Claire get into her car; his hands gripped the steering wheel in a lifesaving strangle. What the hell had he done?
He’d come out of hibernation; let his guard down enough to enjoy Claire’s company. He’d noticed her sensual mouth, enjoyed every second of their shared kisses, discovered he wanted to ravage her, then the dark thoughts had returned. How could he be unfaithful to Jessica? To this day, her memory wouldn’t let go of him. And his guilt would never let him forget.
Claire had managed to find the dwindling spring of life at the bottom of his well. He’d been bone-dry until then, and she’d tapped into what was left of him. Made him feel almost human again. He’d wanted more; had that been so awful?
He was supposed to have been with Jessica and Hanna the day of the accident, but the new medical clinic had delayed him. Go ahead, he’d said over the cellphone. I’ll drive up later and meet you there. They’d planned a weekend in Pismo Beach.
He didn’t deserve to be alive, or to feel, or to enjoy anything.
He wouldn’t slip up again.
CHAPTER FIVE
M ONDAY morning, Claire and René had the medical clinic kitchen to themselves.
René poured herself a large cup of coffee; her full-bodied auburn hair was styled in layers and rested on the white of her doctor’s coat,
Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni