thinking?
Before I make up my mind, Ezra stands and moves toward me. His eyes are bright but everything else about him is dead. He doesnât move his mouth or make a sound as he falls on me. His hands are reaching out.
I sink back into the couch and try to stop him, but I canât hold him off. He grabs at my neck with his bony hands. The sleeves of his sweater are itchy on my chin.
Thereâs no way I can scream, so I try to pull my head from side to side. It doesnât work, and I swing my arms harder. A few times I hit part of Ezraâs face, but he continues to squeeze. Heâs stronger than he looks.
Mom! Dad! Iâm so sorry. Iâm sorry for not minding my manners. And Iâm sorry for going into the woods with Starla. I donât want to die! God, Iâm so sorry. Please donât let me die!
The room gets darker, and I canât make a sound. I reach up one more time to grab anything I can. My thumb lands on the soft part of Ezraâs throat, the place beneath his Adamâs apple, and I press.
Thereâs a popping sound. His skin is soft like a wet paper towel. This surprises me because I donât feel like I pressed that hard.
Ezra lets go and falls to the floor. His eyes are wide like he canât believe what happened.
There are footsteps coming down that hall as I stand and move away from the couch. What have I done? What will I say to Mom and Dad?
In Defense
November 29th, 1986
Inside the Driverâs Camaro
Itâs morning and Iâm parked in the Camaro, waiting for Jasper outside a brick, three-story structure. Itâs how an apartment building might have looked when I was alive. Iâm told itâs another waypoint for travelers.
The street is clear except for a run-down school bus parked at the curb. On either side, there are drab, cookie-cutter bungalows and vacant storefronts without a name. They sit in silence, all devoid of life.
Thereâs a numbing quality in the way the sun comes up. With the driver-side window down, I expect it to be accompanied by faint warmth, but Iâm fooled. Thereâs no sensation on my arm. Another reminder that Iâm deadâ¦
Today Jasper and I will cross over into the physical worldâ¦it will be my first assignment. Heâll stand nearby in case I need help, and to make sure I actually go through with it. Otherwise, Iâm on my own. There wonât be anything between me, the boy, and his murderer.
The car idles for two minutes before Jasper emerges on the front step, his complexion ruddy. He lumbers down the walk and wedges himself into the car with some effort.
âWhatâs with the bus?â I ask.
âThere was a fellow in much the same predicament as you. He found his ghost yesterday, and left the bus behind. I snagged it because it makes getting around easier.â
I nod and wait for him to indicate we should begin, to say something full of purpose.
Instead he turns to me and says, âAre you ready?â
âYeah, I think so.â I put the car in gear and steer away from the curb, disappointed thereâs no pep talk. I guess thereâs still time for that, between here and where weâll cross over.
Weâre heading for the fog again. There are pockets of it all over the Territory, and hidden within are a countless number of âsleeves.â These are the windows between the Territory and the physical world. Jasper made me practice going in and out of them; I found it easy after awhile.
Hoping to ground myself in something familiar, I grip the wheel with both hands. The street is bereft of traffic, and I havenât seen anyone since arriving in this neighborhood which belongs to someone else.
The overgrown structures are evidence of other peopleâs memories. Scenery appears when someoneâs been in the Territory for too long and starts to decay if thereâs no one around to remember it. Itâs unsettling, like Iâm wearing someone