The Crunch Campaign by Kate Hunter Page A

LorRAIN on my parade.’
    â€˜Your jokes are getting worse,’ said Katie. ‘Let’s stop now.’ She flicked the remote.
    â€˜What’s on?’ asked Lorraine.
    â€˜Nothing. Same as every Saturday night.’
    â€˜What are you, anyway? Amish? You should get cable.’ Lorraine fetched the handbag she’d left by the doorway and took out a bottle of nail polish. ‘If you had it, you wouldn’t be saying there’s nothing to watch.’
    â€˜All cable means is that there’s more nothing to watch.’ Katie flicked the TV off. ‘And besides, there’s too much to do. For a start, I’m meeting the prime minister on Tuesday.’
    â€˜What are you going to wear?’
    â€˜No idea. I’m still working out what to say.’
    â€˜I thought you had that sorted out – your Lettuce Levy.’
    â€˜Yeah, but I think I need to back it up with something. The idea itself isn’t enough. I think we need to show her an ad.’
    â€˜For what?’
    â€˜Some kind of fruit, I suppose.’
    â€˜But isn’t your whole thing about giving the fruit people lots of money to make ads? We haven’t got lots of money.’
    â€˜No, but we’ve got good ideas. Normally agencies charge heaps for ideas; this time we need to give one away to make a point.’
    â€˜Okay.’ The relaxed Sunday that Lorraine had planned was slipping away from her. ‘So what kind of fruit?’
    â€˜What’s in season, I suppose.’ Katie looked at the green and red debris on the lounge room floor. ‘Strawberries?’
    â€˜Strawberries are good.’ Lorraine wondered where the conversation was headed. ‘You want to do an ad for strawberries?’
    â€˜Why not? I wonder who’s in charge of them?’
    â€˜What – like a CEO of strawberries?’
    â€˜You know, a marketing manager. Someone responsible for selling them. Like the Egg Corporation, or Meat and Livestock. The farmers must have someone who represents them.’
    â€˜Oh, look, I don’t know!’ Lorraine threw up her hands. ‘My mind’s been on raincoats.’
    â€˜I wonder what Clementine and the boys are up to.’
    â€˜Clementine is probably hiding in her room. There’s some big do happening at her place. I saw the cars. And it’s October, so there’s no cricket or football on – the boys are probably doing a whole heap of nothing.’
    â€˜Or playing Wii,’ said Katie.
    â€˜Same thing.’
    â€˜Let’s get them over.’ Katie started looking for the phone. It drove her nuts, the way her mum never put the handset back on the base.
    â€˜Ah – except that Joel isn’t talking to us,’ said Lorraine.
    â€˜True. But now we’re not talking about government policy – we’re making ads. He won’t be able to resist. You watch.’ Katie found the phone under a magazine on a side table. Typical. She added this to her mental list of her mum’s bad habits – Liam Parfitt should be warned. Vanessa Crisp was no prize.
    â€˜Do you think Joel will help on the LorRAINWEAR ads, too?’ She didn’t want Katie to forget their earlier conversation.
    â€˜For sure. Once he hears it involves pushing old people into pools, he’ll be all over it.’ But she rang Clementine first. ‘She’s on her way. You were right, it’s all happening at Clem’s place and it sounds awful. Her sister’s won some humanitarian award and they’re all expected to make speeches.’
    Then she called Joel. Lorraine could tell by the softening of Katie’s voice that Dominic had answered. ‘Hey, it’s me. Lorraine and I’ve been talking. I think we need a fruit ad to show the prime minister – yeah – I’m thinking strawberries – good idea – no, don’t tell him anything, that’s the best plan – just say you’re