The Crunch Campaign by Kate Hunter

dangling from her lips. ‘Nancy would be the bridesmaid from hell.’
    Lorraine laughed. ‘Your mum said there are Tim Tams. I hope you haven’t eaten them as well.’
    Nothing got an evening back on track like a laugh and a chocolate biscuit, so Lorraine spread out the sketches of her new rainwear and Katie slid down onto the floor next to her.
    â€˜There will be three designs to start with,’ Lorraine said. ‘You can wear the boots to match the coats if you like, or mix it up. That’s what I’d do.’
    â€˜Mmm – but you’d also wear a different boot design on each foot.’
    â€˜I would, yes. But I accept that others might not be as brave.’
    Katie shrugged. She was used to Lorraine’s eccentricities.
    â€˜So what sort of ads do you think we can do?’
    â€˜Dunno,’ said Katie. ‘Who’s your market?’
    â€˜Ah. Anyone who lives somewhere that it rains?’
    â€˜Really? So you make raincoats for old men. Little kids. Guys like Joel? You need to narrow it down.’
    â€˜Okay. How about LorRAINWEAR is for people who sometimes get rained on?’
    â€˜Nah, too broad. Nancy gets rained on and she wouldn’t buy a fancy raincoat in a million years. Maybe LorRAINWEAR is for stylish women. Working women. Who? Think about your demographic.’
    â€˜Well, I don’t know. I just want to sell raincoats and boots that aren’t boring to anyone who wants to buy them. If a ninety-year-old man who works in a bakery and goes paragliding on weekends wants to buy one, fantastic!’
    Katie nibbled another Tim Tam and thought. Lorraine had a point. What did it matter who bought them as long as someone did? ‘Okay, let’s look at this from another angle. Let’s think about rain. It’s just water, but everyone hates getting it on them.’
    â€˜True. Which is weird, when you think how much people love swimming.’
    Katie was about to grab another Tim Tam when she snapped her fingers. ‘This is great! Fantastic!’
    â€˜What? What’s fantastic?’ Lorraine sometimes struggled to keep up with Katie’s mind.
    â€˜Don’t you see? People love LorRAINWEAR so much, they go out of their way to get wet. An old lady stands at the edge of a swimming pool, knowing some brat will push her in. A man stands in a gutter, waiting to get splashed on!’
    Lorraine got it, and joined in the brainstorm. ‘A woman purposely bumps waiters at cafes hoping she gets drinks spilt on her!’
    â€˜Yes!’ Katie was having fun. ‘How about a man jiggling a baby so it’ll throw up on him?’
    â€˜One problem.’ Lorraine’s enthusiasm stalled. ‘I don’t make raincoats for men, remember?’
    â€˜Let’s not worry about that. As you said, it doesn’t matter who buys them. Any dude in one of your designs would grab attention. Lorraine, these ads are going to be so cool. We just need a line. Mmm . . .’
    â€˜What about, “With LorRAINWEAR, you’ll want to get wet” ?’
    â€˜Almost, but not snappy enough.’
    â€˜â€œ LorRAINWEAR makes getting wet look good ”? “Make a splash with LorRAINWEAR” ?’
    â€˜Nah. Needs to be short and sharp. Give me a second.’
    â€˜You can take a minute. I need to pee.’
    When Lorraine came back, Katie held up a piece of paper. In thick black marker, she’d written, ‘ LorRAINWEAR. Getting Wet Never Looked So Good. ’
    â€˜Great,’ said Lorraine. ‘I love it.’
    They talked for a while about how they’d shoot the ads. Lorraine thought she could get Jasmine Jolley to record a little tune that sounded a bit like ‘Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on my Head’. Maybe her brothers could sing.
    â€˜They’re away on tour,’ said Katie. ‘And, not wanting to be mean, but that’s a bit – cheesy.’
    â€˜Fine. Go ahead and