gasped. âWhatâs going on here? Why are you out of bed?â
My legs became heavy and my heart dropped into my stomach. âOh,â I whispered. âHi, Mum.â
And then I closed the door in her face.
I stood there with my forehead against the door for several seconds, listening to my mum knocking.
âKyle? Whatâs going on? Let me in.â
âIs she real?â I asked, not looking at Ameena.
âNo. Yes. Kind of. I donât know,â Ameena said. âShe exists. You made her exist. But sheâs not your mum.â
âShe looks like her. She sounds like her.â
âSheâs your idea of your mum,â Ameena said, and I did look at her then. âSheâs an impression of your mum as seen through your eyes.â
âWhatâs the difference?â
âWell⦠everything. She doesnât think like your mum, she thinks like you think your mum would think.â She replayed the words in her head. âYeah, thatâs right.â
Ameena stepped closer to me. Beyond the door, my mum continued to knock and talk.
âLet me in, sweetheart. Open the door and let me in.â
âYou know those dolls where you squeeze its hand and it talks or burps or wets itself or whatever?â Ameena said. âThey might look like a real baby. They might pee on your leg like a real baby. But they ainât a real baby. Thatâs sort of what sheâs like.â She thought for a moment. âBut, you know, without the peeing on the leg stuff.â
âSo⦠sheâs a doll,â I said. âSheâs not real. Sheâs just a talking doll.â
âYeah. Pretty much,â Ameena said. Then she added, âSorry.â
I sucked air in through my teeth. âNot your fault.â
She shrugged. âWell, at least thatâs one thing then.â
I stood back. Then I ran my fingers through my hair, straightened down my hospital gown and pulled open the door. My mum stood there, her hand raised mid-knock. She shot me an exasperated look and stepped through into the day room.
âWhatâs going on? Why arenât you in bed?â She looked around the room and settled on Ameena. âAnd whoâs this?â
âThatâs Ameena.â
âWho?â A frown wrinkled her forehead, as if she knew the name, but couldnât quite remember where from.
âAmeena. The girl I told you about.â
âWhat? No.â She smiled and looked at me as if I were kidding. When she realised I wasnât, her smile died away. âNo, donât be silly. There is no Ameena.â
âThere is,â I said, as Ameena waved. âSheâs real. Well, more or less.â
âBut⦠she canât be. That was all a dream, that stuff. I mean, how can she be real? She canât be.â
âBut she is,â I said softly. âIt was all real. Everything I said.â
âNo, but⦠you said⦠you said I died.â
âYes,â I said. My tonsils tightened, making my voice go up an octave. âI did say that.â
There was silence in the day room then, broken only by the scratching of a pen against a newspaper crossword. Even the sounds of battle outside had quietened, and I felt as if the whole world were listening in on this conversation.
I took her by the arm and led her over to the window. She stared down at the monster on the floor, but didnât comment.
âLook,â I said. âLook out there.â
She peered through the blinds and I felt her whole body stiffen. I gave her arm a squeeze as silent tears began to roll down her cheeks.
âN-no,â she whispered. âIt canât. It canât be. This⦠this isnât happening.â
âIt is happening. And itâs happening because of me,â I told her. âI did this.â
She stared at me in horror. âYou?â
âNot on purpose. He tricked me. He made me do it. My
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