said lamely. “Max and Drew's roommate. Nice to meet you.”
“I'm Kaitlyn,” she said. “Doesn't this look great? I was going crazy trying to find an outfit that would fit Lisa's theme. The skirt is cute, isn't it? See?” She spun around in a quick whirl, flaring the skirt. At my angle, I couldn't see anything except for another inch or two of tanned thigh. From hearing Max swear as he dropped his soda, he probably saw a little more. This girl was far more dangerous than the one back in high school. “I thought it was a silly idea when Lisa first told me, but then I thought, like, I didn't want to get dragged out on some silly romantic date by some guy who'd be all serious just because it's Valentine's Day. Ever since middle school, my boyfriend that year would take me out and confess they loved me, stuff like that. As if. They just wanted my body,” she said, leaning forward as if she was confiding a secret to me.
“Imagine that,” I said. I couldn't help but glance down. Black lace was showing. It was well worth the potential embarrassment.
She didn't seem to care that I was talking to her chest. “Guys here are so boring. All they do is work and study and then go out drinking and then they want to take me home and have sex. It's so totally predictable. If you ever find a guy who isn't boring and predictable, let me know, ok? You too, Andreas!”
“I shall endeavor to do so,” he said, with only the slightest quaver to his voice.
I looked up at Andreas. “Steady, Viking,” I muttered quietly to him.
He glanced sideways at me. “ Jeg prøver ikke å være kjedelig ,” he muttered. I had no idea what he meant, but his expression was gloomy.
Jess sighed. I had practically forgotten she was there. “She's such a bitch to him,” she said, not bothering to lower her voice.
Kaitlyn didn't even pretend not to hear. Instead, she looked down at the redhead and smiled. “Oh, Jess, I didn't notice you down there! Still having fun with all your imaginary friends?”
“Oh, yes, tons,” Jess said, standing up and brushing herself off. “I'm surprised to see you here tonight. Was your regular street corner occupied?”
Before the situation could escalate any further, Lisa shouted across the room. “Hey, Kaitlyn! Come over here and say hi to me, too! Where's your roommate?”
Kaitlyn turned her back on us and flounced over toward Lisa. “She's coming, she just had to make a phone call.” She glanced over her shoulder at me and Andreas, smiled, and put an extra sway into her walk. Andreas whimpered.
Jess pushed me sideways and grabbed Andreas's hair. “Listen, Viking,” she hissed. “She's a bitch. She knows how you feel. She knows perfectly well that you want to fuck her in half. She is going to lead you on until you run off a cliff. Then she'll watch and laugh and fuck someone else and tell you all about it. Is that what you want?”
“No! But the way she looked at me!” Andreas protested. He winced as Jess pulled harder. I cringed in sympathy. “Stop! Devilish woman!”
“That's her, not me,” Jess continued. “Look, Andreas, you know I'm telling you the truth. I've heard her talking about it to Lisa. I'm telling you, you don't have a chance with the way you are, unless she decides to pity-fuck you. Is that what you want?”
Andreas sighed and she let go. “No, it is not. But I can hope, yes?”
“Hope all you want, Viking. I feel for you, but that’s the way she is,” Jess said.
Kaitlyn's voice was suddenly louder. “There she is. Over here, Nikki!”
I spun around. If I had been holding a soda, I would have spilled it. She stepped into the lounge, looking around and staying close to the doorway. She was wearing all black like the rest of us, but she was wearing a button-up shirt open over a black tank top. She drifted a couple of steps toward Kaitlyn, then glanced over in my direction and did a double-take. “Kevin?” she asked.
I lifted a hand in greeting. I was a lucky