The Fullness of Quiet by Natasha Orme Page B

forever. Everything seemed to be so still and fragile, as if it would suddenly break should one of us move.
    The sun was beginning to set so I stood up and started to walk away. I felt him grab my wrist and I turned to face him, surprised. I looked at his torso. I couldn’t look at his face. I didn’t want to. He tilted my head up with the knuckle of his index finger.
    “What’s wrong?” he signed.
    “Now you want to talk to me?”
    “What?”
    “Leave me alone.” I couldn’t bring myself to spell out his name.
    “Jocelyn, please.” The expression on his face was so desperate. Something inside me snapped. “I am sorry,” he signed. My resistance gave way.
    “I do not want to talk to you. Why should I? You have done nothing but ignore me since you got back. You did not even tell me you were leaving you just disappeared!” I went to turn and walk away but he took a hold of my arm and pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as close as possible. I couldn’t help myself. I’d needed him so bad. I just collapsed into him.
    When the first tear escaped, I couldn’t stop the others. I cried for a long time and he simply held me. He didn’t ask me anything, he just held me there.
    I finally pulled away from him and wiped my eyes. “Sorry,” I signed.
    “There is no need to be sorry. I should be the one saying it to you. I left because I had to. I did not know I was going until I got home that night after I saw you. I am sorry for everything.” He took both my hands in his and pulled me down on to the grass. We sat facing each other.
    “I got home that night and my auntie had written on the whiteboard that I was going home the following day,” he signed. “I had not been told about it all. I was so busy and then when I finally did get the chance to try and speak to you, I did not know how to. I wanted to send you a letter or speak to you or something but I did not know what I would say and in the end I presumed that you would not really miss me.”
    I watched his hands and I still felt empty inside. I didn’t know whether I could just accept this information. How did I know this was the same person that I’d practically given my heart to?
    “Jocelyn, please believe me.” I looked away when he signed my name. I couldn’t bear to look. He turned my face towards him. “I have not spoken to you because I did not know...you do not seem to be yourself recently and I do not know why.”
    As much as I tried to restrain myself, I couldn’t help but tell him everything. I told him all about Helen. I left out the part about him and just focused on what was going on in my life at that point in time.
    He sat and listened to me. I don’t know how much time had passed but the sun was at its lowest point in the sky. It wouldn’t be long until it disappeared beyond the horizon.
    “I need to get home,” I signed. He looked at his watch and nodded. We both stood up. I stopped for a moment and turned around to Mum’s grave. I ran up to the headstone and kissed the cold granite. I paused for a moment, hoping that she could hear my thoughts. I promised her I would come back soon.
    We made our way down the road towards my house. I let Daddy know I was home so he wouldn’t worry and then sat next to Joshua on the porch steps.
    “Why did you come back to me?” I asked.
    “Charlie came to see me. She gave me a telling off and wouldn’t even let me explain,” he answered. I smiled weakly. I was unsure how I felt about Charlie stepping in like that but I guess someone had to at some point. “I really am sorry, Jocelyn.” He took my hand and lifted it to his lips. “Can you forgive me?”
    “I don’t know,” I replied slowly. “You really upset me.”
    “I know I did. I am so sorry. I cannot say it enough.” We sat in silence for a while. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I didn’t have the heart in me to continue being annoyed at him.
    “How are you feeling?” he asked after a